Friday, March 26, 2010

Sunday Night is Confusion Night. Or possibly Confucian Night,

I get to my hotel at half ten, and five minutes after checking in am in bed, because that's how I ROLL BEYATCHES &c, when there's a knock on the door, by someone introducing himself as being 'from reception'.

Cue five minutes blundering round in the dark trying to find a) my trousers and b) a lightswitch, during which I can hear the reception person sighing heavily. Finally I find both, and get the door open.

RECEPTION MAN: Hello, yes, I wanted to make sure your phone was working, as the reception desk was trying to call you.

I try the phone. I does work.

ME: Well yes, it's fine. Why were they trying to call me?

RECEPTION MAN: Sir, you will have to call the reception desk to find out.

He goes away. I call the reception desk.

RECEPTION DESK: Hello, I wanted to make sure you were in the right room. Are you in the right room?

Quite a long pause.

ME: I'll be honest, I have no idea.

RECEPTION DESK: What room are you in?

ME: I am in the room you told me to go to.


ME: ... which is presumably the room you're phoning now. Isn't it? I'm quite tired, I don't really know what's going on.

Another quite long pause. Very very slowly, I put the phone down. When I check out the next morning, I am fairly sure they give me a funny look. I still have no idea what was going on, and to be honest, am not entirely convinced the hotel in question fully deserves its four stars.


Adaddinsane said...


On my honeymoon, first night, we're in our hotel room having breezed in about midnight. There were flowers and champagne which I hadn't ordered but they knew we were just married.

So we drank the champagne and went to bed ... like you do.

Then the phone rang.

I answered the phone:

"Excuse me, sir, sorry to dusturb you."


"Were their flowers in your room?"


"And champagne?"


"Have you drunk the champagne?"


"Oh well, yes, of course. Um ... we, er, put you in the wrong room."


"Could we, um, have the flowers back?"

"You're joking?"

"They were for another couple."


So someone came to the door and they got their flowers.

My wife was killing herself laughing - well, what else could you do but laugh.

James Henry said...

I would have claimed to have eaten the flowers.

Salvadore Vincent said...

Was there anyone else in the room? That would have been a giveaway if there was e.g. someone else in the bed when you got in.

James Henry said...

I did consider that, for a horrible moment. But there was barely enough room for one me.

Seriously, FOUR STARS.

James Henry said...

I should have known something was up when the complimentary paper was the Daily Mail.

Tim F said...

Would it not have been more sensible to find the light switch first, as this would have helped you to find your trousers? Whereas your trousers, I suspect, were no help in the search for the light switch.

What sort of trousers were they, by the way?

James Henry said...

Glow in the dark ones, so IN YOUR FACE.

chatterbox said...

On my honeymoon, we arrived at about 1am, to be told that our room was already taken by someone else, with our flowers and champagne. Eventually they brought us some flowers and champagne but I never knew where they got them from.

Maybe this happens all the time and the hotel gets its four stars by being proactive and making sure everyone is where they should be?