5.00 am: Alarm goes off. THIS IS MY CHANCE TO WORK BEFORE THE CHILDREN AWAKE. I trudge to front room to retrieve laptop.
5.02 am: Cat begins noisily retching outside door.
5.10 am: I open Final Draft, and type first sentence in current draft of 18th century comedy drama adaptation, introducing Zombie Samuel Johnson.
5.11 am: 6 month old son begins bibbling in next room.
5.12 am: Working day ends.