I need to get a new, updated driving licence.

In order to do that, I have to get a passport photo, and In order to do that, I have to go into town, to the supermarket, who have a passport photo machine. But I'm going to have a hair cut, so I may as well do that first. But then I've spent all my cash, so in order to get my photos done, I have to go to the bank, withdraw some money, and buy a grapefruit, which gives me the right amount of change to put in the machine.

I get my passport photo done.

Then I get home and realize I need some stamps, so I have to go out again. When I get back, I realize I need an envelope and I CAN'T BE ARSED, so I decide to play Warcraft instead.

In Warcraft, my new Paladin, called Zing, needs a new hammer. But in order to do that, I have to travel across two continents by griffin and boat, and I haven't got any cash. In order to do that, I have to go and kill some gnolls. But that will take ages, unless I get a new hammer.

I go to bed and put my head under the duvet for a while. This seems to work fine.

UPDATE from blue cat's In Contrast Department: some wonderfully warm-spirited comics drawn by a Japanese POW in a WW2 Soviet camp (from Drawn). It's incredibly moving. I am slightly ashamed to have the link plonked on the end of a post about me wittering on about fucking Warcraft, but there we are.

Mageweave bandage, stat!

I was out for the booze with my mate Paul last night. Paul is head nurse at a cardiac ward, and takes my regular 'I know!, that's exactly what it's like at writers' meetings!' interjections with good heart.

ME: I've been waiting for these phone calls, so I've spent the last three days playing Warcraft, doing loops round Darkshire looking for silver ore.

PAUL: You twat.

ME: (humbly) Yes.

PAUL: You want to go to the Badlands, near the ogre mounds.


Three pints later:

ME: ... so Tmara, the dwarf paladin, does all the mining in the harder levels, and sends back the ore to Zing, my drenai paladin, so she can use it for jewelcrafting. I'm like a one-woman guild.

PAUL: What?

ME: I said I'm like a one-man guild.

PAUL: Oh.

WOW what a CV

Patroclus (who has a proper job and thus knows about this kind of thing) tells me that the bigger software companies are encouraging anyone who's a moderator on a forum, or runs a guild in World of Warcraft to put these things on their CVs as examples of 'leadership'. This tickles me.

'I have considerable experiece with fireballs in underground environments. My greatest weakness is my constant distraction by mithril veins in the middle of combat situations. Also, my other identity is that of a skimpily-dressed female elf'.

Try and say all that a few years ago, people would have just stared at you.



In other news, I saw the last ten minutes of Saturday's Doctor Who (did we all know m'chum James Moran is writing an episode for Series Four?) and am about to catch up on the start. The appearance of a certain actor at the end made Patroclus squeak with delight, aww bless.



UPDATE: okay, she's not that skimpily dressed. Quite demure really.

luria
Originally uploaded by jamesandthebluecat

Oh noes!

Last week I told a room full of professional online media people from all over the world (all of whom had Warcraft rankings much higher than mine) that this bloke right, who'd been playing too much Katamari Damacy had been, like totally driving past a mailbox? And had swerved into it instinctively, because it was smaller than him, and that's what you do in Katamari Damacy, OMFG right this is soooooo true, and he nearly totally dieded, LOLZ!!!!'

Anyway, I've just realised I was thinking of this cartoon.

*burns with shame*

A is for Arseholes

My new G4 iBook, sent to me as a replacement for the older Powerbook which died on its arse after thirteen months (after the older iBook and iPod on which I had everything backed up also died within ten days of each other), is, or course, fucked.

It's crashed (or gone into what I believe is known, rather quaintly, as a 'kernal panic') about ten times in the past four days. I am currently having to erase and install the operating system, although this time round I was suspicious enough not to put any important (and expensively licensed) software on it.

If that doesn't work, I am going to try and get my money back on the original Powerbook (ha ha! Good luck, future me! You twat!) and then not buy Apple again.

Hence there not being any blog posts of late, as they would consist mostly of swearing, odd symbols and asterisks, and swearing again.



I'm housesitting for my parents while they go off on holiday to France. Currently I am mostly sitting in a corner, eating all the jelly cubes and catering chocolate and trying not to cry as a small blue bar crawls slowly across the laptop screen indicating one last pointless software install.

MINI UPDATE: I popped out for an hour, during which time my brother let himself in, ate the toffee ice-cream and buggered off again. That fucker will rue the day...



Fortunately I was able to watch some brilliant animation here. The Burning Safari one particularly almost cheered me up.


I hate everyone.*



*except you, you're all right. Everyone else though.



UPDATE: aha - after poking round in some really obscure Apple forums, I'm starting to wonder if it's the memory card from the old Powerbook that I shifted into the new one. Of course if I take it out, I won't be able to play World of Warcraft until I get a new one. But I will be able to, you know, write scripts and that.

What to do, what to do.....

UPDATE 2: removing the memory card seems to have worked, and I can run Warcraft without it, so have been happily slaughtering Crag Boars all evening with my new Snow Leopard pet called, imaginatively, 'Cat'. Fingers crossed the miracle lasts.

Hmmm

I don't understand this. Although the 'snaaaaaake' bit makes me think of David Byrne for some reason. It's quite funny, I just don't understand it.

Anybody?


UPDATE: Oh, okay, it's the World of Warcraft cover of this, although I still don't understand.

This is one of those 'dancing hamster' net meme things I only come across two years after everyone else is totally bored of them, isn't it?


UPDATE 2: okay, I hate it now. However it did remind me, via the comments below, of the alpaca song, which fell off my ipod around 2003, and had been sorely missed.

I've got loads of work to do, by the way.

I'll get by, with a little help - oh, he's gone.

I'm writing some sketches for a comedy thing, only they're being rubbish at sorting out contracts, and naming specific amounts of money, so said sketches are currently chained to a radiator in the dark somewhere until it all gets sorted out.

This happens a lot. Everyone wants material in as soon as possible, but the very mention of contracts and payment is so terribly ungentlemanly that to even mention it causes loud coughing, awkwardly adjusted ties and being shown an office with a bottle of scotch and a loaded revolver.

- And as if to prove something, I don't know what, Agent Matt phoned while I was writing this very post, to say movement has been made with contracts and I can start sending some stuff off, which renders this whole post irrelevant, but there we are.

At least I have an agent to sort this stuff out - poor old PP is having to re-interview for his job for a second time. He phoned me about this last time, and to be honest, I should really have logged off World of Warcraft for the duration of the call, but I tried to do both things simultaneously, and it didn't really work. PP thought there was an odd satellite delay, and Garnethor, the warrior I was supposed to be protecting from a distance with a barrage of healing spells (this character's a priest, which means you hide behind a tree and support butcher characters), got chopped down by four club-wielding thugs.

THUGS: (all four at the same time) Aha! Now you give us the chance to use this freshly-sharpened blade!*
GARNETHOR: Argh! Heal me! Heal me!
ME: Ooh, hang on a tic, I'm on the phone.
PP: So it's the day after tomorrow. I've prepared for the questions though.
GARNETHOR: Help!
ME: Shall I do big heal, or renew?
GARNETHOR: Quick!
ME: Hmm, I've got a potion somewhere...
PP: ?
ONSCREEN INFO: Garnethor has died.
ME: Ooh sorry dude, I was on the phone.
PP: Yes, I know.
GARNETHOR: Oh okay, NP.
ME: Still, I sure it'll work out fine. Hey, did you see the banana thing?
PP: My mum told me about it in excruciating detail.
ME: Heh - someone described it as 'the troll office woman is tit-raped with a banana by the mad pregnant one'.
PP: Is that how it was in the script?
ME: Not really.

It's very uncool to lay claim to bits of GW, they're not 'mine', as without the top performances they'd be nothing. But I'm going to do it anyway, as that scene was based on a real-life thing, where I was eating a banana, when a friend who was slightly inclined to embonpoint leaned very close in (I think she was dyeing my hair for me) and the banana started making its way almost involuntarily into the darkness while a friend sitting on the sofa opposite (Hi Jeremy) stared at me, transfixed with horror. Fortunately a rare outbreak of common sense stayed my hand in time, but I've always wanted to put that in a scene somewhere.

UPDATE: the ho from the taxi would like to give credit for the 'I've still got my tights on' line to Richard, although I've talked to him, and he can't remember if that one's his or not, but he thinks, on balance, it probably is.

I knew I shouldn't have started this.


* 'freshly sharpened clubs!' it should have been of course.

I think I'm going to... OMMRPG

Having singularly failed to learn from my last attempt at mixing alcohol with the internet (went out with B.M., drank too much, came home, sent impassioned email to random Doctor Who writer, woke up next morning to be so violently sick I started crying), I went out for a drink with B.M. last night, got back and thought: ooh! I've never played World of Warcraft drunk! How different an experience would it be?

In the space of two hours I:

Was eaten by bears.
Was beaten up by miners.
Was beaten up by a gang of dwarves.
Was jumped on by spiders.
Was ganked by a rogue.
Decided that 'Fist-sized Spinneret' would be a great name for a band.
Found a new cloak.
Attacked a town registry office and killed a number of prominent council members.
Met lots of new trolls I haven't met before. One of them had a pet raptor, it's name was Slashy, but I might have imagined that bit.
Found a shield and enchanted it to be slightly better than my old one.
Found a new hat, (although this covers up my troll character's red mohican, so I might sell it instead).
Learned how to sew linen bags.


In short it was brilliant. And I'm not hungover! Life is sweet.

Worth a try.

I took all the keys off my laptop, which was getting a bit grubby, cleaned the underneath with proper under-keyboard cleaning stuff and put the keys back again. And now my '2's gone all wobbly.

So at the moment, I can't write any sequels, and Fingle, my troll mage in World of Warcraft, is having some difficulty with fireballs. Honestly, I don't know how I find the strength to get up in the morning.

Anyway, please can someone send me a new G4 Powerbook? I put some extra memory in as well, so one of those too please.

Ta.

Me ovarian shorn dry.

Maus Congeniality has a brave stab at decyphering Cocteau Twins lyrics, and writing as someone who once genuinely believed there was a Nine Inch Nails lyric that read 'My skin is baggy at the knees'*, I am most impressed.

On a similar note, here's Fellowship of the Ring captioned in World of Warcraft speak, which will make sense to approximately three people (via Screenhead)

And finally, best use of the word 'toink' in a webcomic.

* Apparently it was 'My skin is begging to be pleased', which is actually rubbish. Trent should have got me to vet his lyrics for him. I'd have sorted his hair out for him as well, but it's too late for that now.

Joke Squad.... Assemble!

Which is how I thought we should start all GW comedy writing meetings from now on. It would have been nice if someone else had joined in though, particularly with the 'sticking the arm up in the air like a Power Ranger, only manlier' bit. I wasn't really expecting Richard to join in, it's not his kind of thing (although he wore a pastel t-shirt the other day - hi Richard), but Rob could have tried. I like to think the meme's been planted though, and one day in the future, at quite an important meeting Rob'll suddenly find himself assuming the stance and shouting the words. Maybe at a wedding, for double points.*

A quick tableux : in the lift on the fourth floor of Talkback, holding a very hot cup of coffee. The floor dropped about three inches when I got in, then the doors closed while I was dithering about maybe taking the stairs instead.

Utter silence for a moment, then the lift dropped another couple of inches, then stopped. It really did seem like there was quite a high chance of plunging five storeys (I'm including the basement) into the ground. And in one of those strange moments, where humans act in a way that is both sensible, and completely insane, I carefully held the coffee away from me. At about arms length.

Anyway, I didn't die, and perhaps I never will. Someone got in the lift after I got out, and I thought 'should I say something?'. And then I thought 'nah'.

One who we thought had left the blogging fold has returned with a great new name. I agree wholeheartedly that life should have a change button, but I'm already freaked out when my Mac asks me to 'choose my identity'. Once I stared at the screen so hard, coloured lights started flickering across my vision, twisting and arcing as though I was staring into the mind of god. Then I realised it was just the screensaver, but still.

And World of Warcraft asks you if you want to 'enter world', not 'leave world', which would make more sense, unless I'm overthinking it.

I did some work as well this week, and social things, which was nice, and saw bands which were good. It's not all silliness.

Planet Sketch which did some work for, now has its own website. GW Stuart got way more on it than me though. I hate him so much.





*Still, it's better than the Black Power salute I used to give at meetings without ever really thinking about it. I stopped doing it, sadly not because it's Wrong Wrong Wrong, but because I walked into a meeting a while ago, and one of the actors did it to me first, and I just stared at him, jaw agape, thinking 'I have nothing, I only had that one thing, and now it's gone. I am bereft'.

Moosey Trousers

moosey trousers
Originally uploaded by jamesandthebluecat.

Looking after parents' garden while they're away, and under strict instructions not to let any food go to waste. Lots of new potatoes, raspberries, and rhubarb (ooh - I could make a really weird pizza!). Also tomatoes, courgettes and squashes, but they're still green. And a catering block of chocolate hidden behind some tins of soup. And some blocks of jelly. Yum. It's like being fourteen again. Next thing I'll be... buying roleplaying games and reading comics. Shiiiiiit.

Also, my parents don't have broadband, so I can't get distracted by World of Warcraft, which has to be a good thing. Last night I drove back to my flat, just because if log off with your characters out in the wilderness you get less experience points next time you log on. So an evening was spent taking all my characters back to an inn one at a time (you can teleport, it doesn't take that long, so it's kind of practical really, if you think about it). If you type '/sleep' they have a cute animation where they actually lie down and go to sleep, but I thought that was taking it too far. No point getting silly about it. Moosey's doing very well - joined up with a bunch of trolls and beat up some raptors, which was most satisfying, as they keep ambushing me when I go too far south, so an element of personal grudge-holding may have crept in there. However Moosey has picked up some rather garish red and green leggings from somewhere, so whereas he used to look like a minotaur on a mission of revenge, he now looks like a slightly camp dance instructor. With a bull's head. Or maybe that was a dream I once had. Or a date PP once had.*

The rewriting of sample scenes for top secret project had the expected effect: i.e. they picked another writer. They did have the decency to phone and let me know, and they're very keen on Romey loves Jools, which they've passed on to development people, so fingers crossed there. I don't mind too much about not getting the 'gig' as absolutely no-one calls it - I tend to either hit the right note with these things straight away or frankly not at all. I'm considering refusing to do sample scenes altogether - if they've read my stuff and like it, that should be enough, and as Wise Stuart (GW writer) says. it's not like they give out sample money, is it? Of the conversations back at various production companies could go two ways:

CONVERSATION ONE

PRODUCER: So what's happening with this crazy-ass James Henry kid then? (producers talk like this all the time, I've heard them)
COWERING ASSISTANT: Sir, he refuses to do any sample scenes! He says if we've read his scripts, that's enough to go on, and he's damned if he's going to work for free!
PRODUCER chomps his cigar for a bit. COWERING ASSISTANT wedges self into a corner, closes eyes in terror. Finally-
PRODUCER: Goddamn it, I like his...
COWERING ASSISTANT: Spunk?
PRODUCER: Moxie.
COWERING ASSISTANT: Oh.
PRODUCER: He's hired.
COWERING ASSISTANT: Can I go back in time and say 'Pzazz?'
PRODUCER: No.

CONVERSATION TWO

PRODUCER: So what's happening with this crazy-ass James Henry kid then?
COWERING ASSISTANT: Sir, he refuses to do any sample scenes! He says if we've read his scripts, that's enough to go on, and he's damned if he's going to work for free!
PRODUCER: Fair enough. We'll get someone else.

Hmm. Might have to think about this.

The kids' telly thing (monsters/fairy tale bits/puppets) is going very well though. Script editor encouraging me to go big and there pare it back afterwards, which suits me. It did take her three goes to get to remove the sinister hand puppet called 'Mr Starey' from the storyline, but I accept that she was right now. And I can put him back in somewhere else.

Agent Ginny was about to send off my film screenplay to a second batch of companies, but we had a chat about it first as it's become apparent that although it starts well, it quickly goes a bit bonkers and gets very confusing indeed in the third act, hence the standard reaction of 'I loved your script! I had no idea what happened in it! We could never make it!'

My first plan was 'let's send it out anyway, even if it's a tad wonky' as knowing it doesn't quite work just gives me that edge. In some way that... doesn't make sense. Also, I'm lazy, and rewriting counts as work. So obviously, I had to ring Ginny back later and say 'I'm going to have to rewrite it, aren't I?' So that's the plan. Initially I was going to just simplify the ending, but last night I thought of a whole new ending altogether, which would sort of tie into what I'm ashamed to say I was holding back for the sequel. And yes, I was thinking of it being a trilogy. Look, if you're not going to think big, there's no point even trying, is there?

* Yes yes, glass houses, stones.

Quite a lot to do, actually.

When you've grown tired of running up to monsters in World of Warcraft, killing them and taking their treasure - you wouldn't think you could get tired of this, but sometimes you do - there are other things you can do. Like fishing. Part of this one quest was to catch 20... I don't know, 'blumper fish' or something, I dunno, it's not real, god!

So my little night elf character took her fishing rod and stood on a rock overlooking the harbour somewhere in Ashenvale and I tried to catch blumper fish, or whatever they're called. The float sort of jiggled a bit, and then you had to press 'J or something (I'm being vague today, apologies, but, you know...*) and catch the fish. Only you had to get the timing just right, or you miss the fish and have to start again. And this went on for an hour, and then suddenly I went JESUSI'MWASTINGMYLIFE and hurled my laptop against the wall and ran down to the park and learned how to electric boogaloo.

No, actually I realised I was fishing in the wrong spot, and moved down a bit and caught loads after that.

I've got a second character called Moosey (he's a Tauran, which is a kind of minotaur) who I named as a joke when I was showing Jim who plays City of Heroes which SUCKS in comparison to WOW. I was going to call the chararacter 'Moosey McMoosington' but it was too long, which was a shame. Anyway, Moosey started out as a joke, but I'm quite fond of him now, and he's nearly 14th level. He's got the skill 'Leatherworking', so quite often, when I've killed loads of monsters and skinned them (using my 'Skinning' skill), I can make sandals, and quite a nice bag.

I've got loads of work on by the way. I wouldn't want you to think I had nothing to do.


Ooh, I forgot, while I was demonstrating WOW to Paula and Jim, I showed them my other characters. 'That's Gra'nash, an orc warrior and Shard, the night elf hunter, and there's Cookie, who's a gnome rogue. And there's Lilette, who's a human thief.'

Paula stared at me, and I got a bit embarrassed. 'You think it's weird I have a couple of female characters, don't you?'
'No,' said Paula 'but I do think it's odd you named one of them after a tampon.'





*Do you see what I did there? Marvellous stuff.

Online role playing game World of Warcraft: last night

WOW screenshot
Originally uploaded by jamesandthebluecat.

(the screenshot there isn't from last night, it's just an example)

So, the way these work is each character on screen is a real person, hunched over a keyboard somewhere. Individually one is given various quests to do, but sometimes you get a quest you simply can't do on your own (go into a dungeon and kill lots of monsters, that sort of thing). That's when you have to find a group to team up with, and the little chat/text box in the left hand corner really comes into its own:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT

Four fantasy types (a MAGE, a ROGUE, a HUNTER (me) , a PRIEST and a PALADIN) are about to attack various monsters when-

PALADIN: Hang, on, my wound is bleeding, brb (be right back)

The PALADIN freezes.

ME: Wait, does he mean in Real Life?
PRIEST: Um, I guess.

Rest of characters hum, whistle, twiddle thumbs and so forth, while we wait for the PALADIN to return. I discover that if i type '/sleep' my character lies down and has a snooze, which is quite fun. Finally-

PALADIN: OK, back now.
ME: Are you bleeding in real life?
PALADIN: Yeah - keep needing to change bandages.
MAGE: Ddude! Wht hapenedd?
PALADIN: Accidentally got shot on firing range.

Silence. Eventually-

ME: What calibre?
PALADIN: 9mm.
ROGUE: Kome Onn! !!!!I kned to klll mansters! !!!Neerly 27th lvl now!!!!!
PALADIN: Yeah, I'm good.

Characters charge into battle. Much fun is had, and much treasure gained. Later, sitting amongst the fallen and dividing the spoils-

PALADIN: Guys, gotta take more painkillers. Feeling weird now.
MAGE: Ddude, yo sure yoo OK?
PALADIN: Yeah. brb

PALADIN goes still again.

MAGE: May be he should goto hospital.
ME: Mmmmm. Although...
MAGE: What?
ME: Well, we do need a paladin.
ROGUE: PADLINS ROCK!!! They can tottly resurect from ded!
MAGE: And we got that big end of level bit coming up... Is 9mm bad?
ME: .44 is worse.


PALADIN: Back now.
MAGE: Sure yoore okay?
PALADIN: Think so.
ME: I suppose you could always see how you feel- ohmigodheretheycome!
SCOUT: ATTACK ATTACK!
ROGUE: KLL THEMALL! WIPETHEM OUT!

Much fighting. Eventually we win.

PALADIN: Ok guys, I have to go to hospital now.
ME: OK, thanks though.
MAGE: Yeah, couldnt of done it with three of us.

PALADIN exits game.

ME: That was fun.

Kids of today, etc.

I'm back up London next week, for a meeting with the Cartoon Network (everyone should have one of those at some point in their life). It's for a project which is in its early stages, and is confidential, so posting details could queer the pitch somewhat, as t'were. It sounds fun though, and if it goes well, I'll be rewriting the 'series bible': the mighty tome/scrappy few sheets of paper that define the main character, antagonists, potential themes for future episodes and so on. Series bibles are fun objects in their own right, especially when said series has been around for a few years and they become thicker than actual, well, bibles. And bibles for animated shows are best, as they're full of brightly coloured concept art which really helps trigger the imagination. And depress me mightily for being a rubbish drawist.

My Bob the Builder one got lost on the move from Canterbury to Cornwall, which was a great shame as it had things like lists of all the propmakers had ever made (tiny laptop - 1, tortoise - 1, rabbits -30, that sort of thing). Many many years ago I went to a book fair for schoolkids which had loads of actual writers doing talks for children, one of whom was Elizabeth Beresford, creator of 'The Wombles' who told us that the BBC animation crew used to take the Wombles and their props home at weekends, and quite often had to rush home because they'd left Uncle Bulgaria's hat on the mantelpiece.

Much better than my last talk to my mum's primary school, who were doing a scriptwriting module (with a laptop and screen projector - it was like finding out modern schoolkids take their geography fieldtrips to Mars), and when we got talking about books they liked, I told them that the writer Lemony Snickett also doubles as the accordion player in my favourite band, The Magnetic Fields. Cue sea of blank faces.

As if one of the ten year-olds was going to say 'Hmmm, I quite like the Fields, but really Merritt's spin-off project The Future Bible Heroes appeals more to my current musical sensibilities, which are rooted very much in the electropop style with the occasional foray back to the dream pop subgenre of the early-to-mid-nineties. However I remain resolutely unconvinced by the Gothic Archies'.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT UPDATE: I now have a cool sabretooth tiger, and the ability to scare wild animals, which is handy. They only run away for ten seconds though, it turns out, and then come back and eat you while you're doing a celebratory dance. Also I keep picking up bits of armour I can't use, so if anyone knows what level my hunter (called Shard, wave if you see her) can wear it, and be killed by things slightly less often, I'd be terribly grateful.

More of a Halloween thing really, but...

I'm hoping this is Flash, so it's not just another broadband-only thing and either way you'll need sound, but this is great.

Spent much of yesterday packing up stuff from my nan's bungalow, as she's gone into a care home (a nice one, just behind her old house, which, most importantly, doesn't smell like a care home ). I get custody of the books until we work out what to do with them, and took the opportunity to start reading T.E. Lawrence's 'The Seven Pillars of Wisdom' and Mr. Unknown First Name, Second Name Homer's 'The Odyssesy'. Both of which I have always meant to read. Anyway, I got a page into both (one at a time, I wasn't trying to read them simultaneously) and realized I was making the 'buhuhhhh' noise, and thinking about how to kill more stuff in World of Warcraft, so I stopped.

I hate not being able to get into proper, grown-up books. And it can't be the subject matter: deserts, WW1 and... probably Pillars, with Wisdom in them (roleplaying games do tend to give one a rather literal interpretation of life) in one, monsters, sea battles and sewing in other, and you can't ask for more than that. I just find them terribly flat to read, and dammit, I demand entertainment. Although I did also get a huge bag of filter coffee from my nan's as well, so maybe I'll regroup later on.

Yes, arguably, I should give each one more than a page before putting them on the pile of Books That Are Good For Me as opposed to Books I Will Actually Read. But it's also a mood-based thing. Plenty of books have sat around on my shelves, barely touched until one day I think: aha! maybe it's time to give Book X a go.

In the meantime, I'm going to watch semi-animated anti-folk pop videos and try and work out if I fancy the singer or not:

Regina Spektor - Us

Having watched it about seven times, I think I possibly do. Regina has a very endearing wink. Also, how many times a day do you have an excuse to say 'Regina'?

NB: That reminds me of working in Waterstone's when the Vagina Monologues came out, and lots of nice middle-class ladies wanted to buy a copy, but were a bit embarrassed about asking where in the bookshop it would be, so asked for the 'Fuh'-gina Monologues instead, because then it wouldn't sound rude. A less well-mannered and polite bookseller than myself would have made them spell it, but that seemed rather unsporting.

3rd time lucky...

Night-Elves-and-Mount
Originally uploaded by jamesandthebluecat.

Things that have happened in World of Warcraft online roleplaying game that could also quite easily happen to me in real life:

1. Accidentally getting into a duel with a dwarf.
2. Shouting 'Come on, let's kill some Gnarlpines!' and running into a tree.
3. Getting a giant spider for a pet when what I really wanted was one of those cool sabre-toothed tigers.
4. Trying to wear too many cloaks at once.
5. Getting on the wrong boat.
6. Deciding not to bother with any quests, going for a walk in the woods instead, and being eaten by bears.
7. Falling off the edge of the world.