Wednesday, May 09, 2007

'Intel wipes Cornish traders off the map'

From The Telegraph.

I like the way that's nearly news, but not quite ('Ah well', said a local spokesperson). There should be a term for the gap between the dramaticness of the headline ('Pope Shot!)' and the reality of the story ('Mister John Pope was today captured on film by local amateur photographer Mabel Tring, as part of our 'photographs of men' series').

Alternatively, there's an excellent cyberpunk thriller to be written, where an Intel black ops unit covertly destroys a whole town, memory-wiping any witnesses in order for their new processor to move swiftly up the Google rankings...

12 comments:

Salvadore Vincent said...

Starting the second sentence with "No, not..." is a guarantee of news disappointment.

james henry said...

That's Journalese for: 'I'm really really sorry', isn't it?

I'm impressed that local spokespeople are being increasingly unconcerned by this sort of stuff - although maybe it's just Cornwall.

A local spokesperson said: 'Oh for god's sake, I'm busy, just go and read the blog'.

Sylvia said...

Is the town looking any different?

james henry said...

Actually, it's gone a bit posh lately.

patroclus said...

Maybe in the novel, Intel black ops shrink the town down to nano-size and install it on the very fabric of their new chip, getting all the stereotypical pasty vendors and bejumpered fishermen to do the actual data processing...very Tron.

james henry said...

I was going to make a cutting comment about how Penryn's more estate agents and thrusting new software start-ups these days, and then realised what my own job was.

Look, a heron!

patroclus said...

I actually looked then.

james henry said...

Ahhhh, made you look!

I really do have work to do.

*checks*

Oh, I don't apparently. Hmm.

Sylvia said...

Well that's the kiss of death then if Penryn's looking a bit posh these days.
Take Balham, for example - always an armpit of a place and now it's gone posh! Can't move for Stepford Wives, estate agents, and organic superstores.

Made in DNA said...

And the name of the novel?

james henry said...

Kernowmancer.

Imo said...

I've never been to Penryn so can't comment, and now I feel left out and alone.