Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hir

My hair has now got long enough that sophisticated London television producers are telling me I look 'a bit French'. On Sunday I decided to get my hair cut. I asked for about an inch off, and to thin the rest out a bit. The man takes about an inch off, and thins the rest out a bit. I hate it.

Today I go to another hairdressers, and tell the nice Australian lady that I want it cut really short. I also tell her I had it cut a couple of days ago, in case she realises anyway, and thinks I'm mad.

NAL: Well, lit's not rush into this.

She stares at my head for a while. Finally:

NAL: Ah see the problim. You have a gurl's hair.

She leaves the front, cuts lots of the back, does mysterious things with product.

ME: (impressed) Oooh, that's much better!

NAL: Yis. I have left it long, but taken art the flick, so it is more lahk a man's hair.

ME: It's weird, you sound more South African now.

NAL: What?

ME: Nothing.





UPDATE: I hate it again.




ANOTHER UPDATE: Never mind that, look! Muppets take Helm's Deep!

THIRD UPDATE: I've just had at it with scissors (the hair, not the muppet/LotR window display). Contrary to all known universal laws, it looks much better now.

This has been some day, and no mistake.


30 comments:

Annie Rhiannon said...

Probably you hate it because of the mysterious things she did with the product. It's hard to recreate.

Why is the post title in Welsh?

james henry said...

I was trying to do an Australian saying 'Hair'.

Actually, maybe she was Welsh. Either way, I bumped into her in the supermarket on the way back, so I can't cut it really short now, or I could bump into herm, and she'd be really upset.

Sometimes it's very difficult being as thoughtful and compassionate as I am.

:(

realdoc said...

When I am at the hairdresser my new hair looks fine but when I go home I hate it. I think they have special mirrors

Sylvia said...

Can we have a photo, please, so we can be the judge of this?

And how could you touch the hair!

cello said...

It sounds like she's done it back to front. Have you tried spinning it round?

Anonymous said...

I always thought you looked lovely with short hair anyway!

Jen said...

I need photo-based proof, m'afraid.

I have the hairdressers tomorrow for the final stage of my blonde transformation/ambition. Needed a change, and I'm a bit thick anyway so I thought it'd be nice.

I was actually quite (and rather sadly) pleased with myself that my hair was blonder than Julian Rhind-Tutt's.

I am the win.

James Moran said...

Madnesss. Here's what you need - number 7 on the back and sides, take it down to an inch-long on top, blend it in. Takes about 5 or 10 minutes, no product needed, no styling, wash it and it's dry in about 12 seconds. I call it the "Jimbo MAN'S Cut".

james henry said...

The Moran is wise, as ever.

kirsten said...

I hate product, even though I am girl. I also hate conditioner and hair dryers, but that's a separate hair issue.

Product makes you happy with your hair for all of 5 minutes until you have to go home and wash it off and can never return down the path of Desirable Hair.

However, I am currently rejoicing about getting my hair cut quite satisfactorily for NZ$12 when everyone else seems to be paying at least $23. Yay.

kirsten said...

Oh look, I forgot to insert the "a" in "I am a girl" and now I sound a little bit like Borat.

I am not sure that is a good thing.

Hamilton's Brain said...

Are you thinking of returning to the spikes of yesteryear, Mr H?

james henry said...

Ah, the Canterbury years. I seem to be gradually heading that way, one very expensive inch at a time.

God my hair is INTERESTING. Maybe it should get its own blog.

kaiki said...

your hair is so prolific it should get it's own series, tucked away on an obscure digital channel for kudos.
p.s i know this is belated - blame the time delay from brighton to kernow - but that was a nice touch in the guardian on saturday

Sal said...

On a slight off thought, has anyone seen with Landscape With Weapon with Julian and Pippa? Any reviews?

james henry said...

OI THIS COMMENTS THREAD IS ABOUT MY HAIR ONLY.

(apparently LWW is very good, I haven't seen it, but they're both good actors and the playwright is good, the reviews have been good so in summary: probably good).

chatterbox said...

Sorry, lurking as usual... LWW is excellent and funny - see it before it finishes in July! Back to the hair, it seems that you are a victim of the hairdresser's chair syndrome, in that the cut looks fantastic till you get home. Conversely, home hair cuts look great till you are next sitting in the hairdresser's chair when it becomes apparent that your home styling skills are not quite as good as you thought.

Skeadugenga said...

Strangely enough, I also think about the Muppets when I'm having my hair cut.

Hamilton's Brain said...

One of the many unsent sketches what I wrote involved a chap getting a hair cut and being shown disasters of increasing severity in place of the back of his head (roughly shaved head, neckstump, face of disfigured woman, earthquake, hurricane, h-bomb, the wobbly bridge) and in each instance he would smile, nod and say "that's great."

No-one can judge the quality in that situation. It's like buying fruit.

Piers said...

Back in the day when I had long hair, it always looked absolutely awful after cutting.

Only a wash and towel-dry would set it back to its true gorgeousness.

Sylvia said...

check out the JRT fansite for lots of reviews - totally biased, of course.

Where is the photo, James?

Jayne said...

Who cares what you think!

Patroclus - over to you...

belladona said...

I'm scared of the hairdressers. Which is why my hair is long.
On the subject of muppets, anyone know where I could purchase a cuddly Rowlf? He was my favourite but no-one seems to remember him now. Poor forgotten Rowlf. He had such nice floppy ears.

james henry said...

Rowlf was great. He sang 'Tea for two' backwards once, an interpretation that approached genius.

patroclus said...

Jayne: Controversially, I'm more about the eyes than the hair. Also, last time I commented about the hair I got into trouble. Although I probably deserved that for including a link to a picture of Take That-era Robbie Williams.

However, I would like to reassure the blue cat readership that the new hair looks absolutely nothing like this.

*runs*

james henry said...

Ey em a buyntey huntah.

Sal said...

Sorry to go off topic James! And thanks to everyone for their reviews, I'm off to see it on Tuesday.

Fat Roland said...

Rowlf is not forgotten. He is my favourite muppet. I used to imagine I was him when I played the piano when I was young. I think my flapping ears annoyed my music teacher.

Jayne said...

Patroclus: I am totally with you on eyes over hair, but would you even notice the eyes if the hair was like Don King's?

Mr BC: can you have your hair done in an upright, windtunnel afro thing so we can test this?

james henry said...

I'm on it.