Friday, June 02, 2006

MISSPELLED FLIMS

Started earlier this week. Evans opened with:

PRIM SUSPECT - she was a bit stuck-up anyway.

I countered with:

PRATS OF THE CARIBBEAN: getting in everyone's way.
GONE WITH THE WIN: man goes halvsies on scratchcard, makes a tenner, legs it.
WE DIV AT DAWN: People constantly go up to 'the office' star Lucy Davies and make 'durrr' noises at her, while pushing their tongues into their lower lips.

She came back with:

JEWS - oceanic Yiddish folk who bite legs
STAR WARDS - medal winning hospital wings
GHOSTDUSTERS - keeping spooks spotless

And then it turned out Photoshop Phriday had been looking over our internetty shoulders the whole time. Weird. I think THE PRODUCE (page 2) is my favourite.



ALSO: Was I secretly hoping that my previous ipod whinge would in some way net me a free mp3 player from some kind manufacturer 'for reviewing purposes'? Yes. Did anything come of this? No. Clearly blogging is not the path to fame and fortune some people would have you believe, the have-you-believing muckyfunsters (it's only just gone nine, there might be children reading).

On an unrelated note, I drove to Penzance yesterday and thought: wouldn't it be great if I had my own car for the summer, instead of having to borrow my mum's at the age of 33*? A convertible would be nice. Think on't.

Coming up later: more bearded GW writers. Yay!


* my age, I mean. Not my mum's.

29 comments:

James Moran said...

"United 83" is the clear winner for me, I nearly spat pork pie all over the screen. Am I evil?

I'm actually eating a pork pie, by the way, I don't just manifest them spontaneously when I'm excited.

Sal said...

I too love the 'United 83' poster. Sadly though I had nothing to spit over my computer screen and a pork pie didn't spontaneously appear. Shame, I really do like pork pie. It is just plain pork pie I hope - none of this 'egg in the middle' nonsense.

James Moran said...

Egg in the middle? Blasphemy! Plain, Melton Mowbray pork pies are the way to go, like you say. I get the mini ones, 6 to a pack. Have to eat them as soon as possible, while the pastry is still fresh and crunchy. Mmm, I'm going to have another one now.

Sal said...

6 packs of fresh pork pies - nothing beats it. As my Nan would say 'because sometimes, only pork pie will do'
Such wise words. Glad they're plain. You're right - it's blasphemy when they mess about with egg and other flavours. Gah.

james henry said...

I had a hot dog earlier. They taste rubbish indoors.

Anonymous said...

Pork pies are the devil's food. Hot dogs on the other hand are irresistible - 'cept I'm scared of them on account of the onions. Maybe I should eat them when outdoors only.

Rose said...

I wish Tin City existed. Also I Heart Huxtables. Because what we really need is a feature-length Bill Cosby.

la said...

james, do the 2nd season green wings have names? or titles, whatever you call them... the 1st series does so I'm just wondering... it would be great to have them, you see. :)

james henry said...

They didn't when we wrote them, but then series 1 didn't either. Someone from the office clearly made them up later. Maybe I'll make up titles for them later....

Danothebaldyheid said...

Pilates of the Carribean does it for me - plundering done with EXTREMELY GOOD POSTURE!

richard said...

"The Night of the Hinter" Lionel Blair Nocturnal Charades flick.

"Schindler's Lisp" one man's struggle against the Nathith.

james henry said...

Nice work.

Ruth Hitchens said...

Completely off topic, but I need to ask - will there be a series three of GW??? Why that question needed to be bold and have three question marks I do not know, but alas, I am very confused. Apparently there won't be a series three...but there will and there will be a funeral.....You cannot take Julian Rhind-Tutt away from us....Nooooooooooooo

Aimee said...

There is nothing quite so visual as a pork pie for actually seeing the fat appear on your body post-consumption. Its quite frightening. I prefer a picnic egg myself.

James, before you do it, I think it'd be cheating to include Fay & Oriane in the GW bearded writers series seeing as they already are bearded ladies of sorts. And very good ones too. I think YOU should be next. I'm sure you said you'd treat us to a glimpse of this much talked-up hair of yours.

smoo2 said...

Ooh, he's very shy about publishing a photo, Aimee! It'll probably be the biggest beard you've ever seen, covering his entire face! Or perhaps we have inadvertently stumbled across his secret werewolf identity. We await with baited breath, James!

Sal said...

We do indeed James, Googling you doesn't even help, it just serves up some black and white portraits from the past and some American football stars.
Interestingly enough there is a picture of a guy with a very large beard, covering a high percentage of his face.

Robyn said...

Ah. B for Bendetta.

And talking of misspellings, you're in the Grauniad today!

la said...

james, have you travelled in asia, is this your blog? there's a picture of a james henry here... :)

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Stroll-on/

james henry said...

Raising a glass of beer? In a football stadium? Next to a man wearing some kind of football t-shirt? In a hot foreign country?

It's probably not me, is it?

james henry said...

Also, thanks robyn, saw that this morning - my mum's dog is most excited that his murderous exploits have been related to the nation.

james henry said...

"I'm most excited that my murderous exploits have been related to the nation," he said.




Considered folding these into one, rather than having three comments in a row by me, on my own blog, but I can't be arsed.

jac said...

How about telly series - the Last of the Summer Whine - as in - i'm sick of this wet drought we're having...

Jane Perrone said...

Your mention in the Guide gave me a smug feeling of "ha! Well I've been reading his blog for ages, so I am WAY ahead of the curve, losers!"

BTW season 1 DVD kept me going through recent sickness - top marks you!

Anonymous said...

Me and my friend Rachel would also like to put in a request for a bearded James. I was listening to the dvd commentary today - you have a rather sexy voice. :)

Alli said...

I think this may be a pic of James Henry, with a beard (sort of), looking very intelligent, channelling Hugh Jackman... http://www.bloc-online.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=219&Itemid=41

I could be wrong though.

Anonymous said...

Being the friend Rachel as mentioned above... i would like to back up the request for a bearded photo of you, even though Rob Harley is extremely hot, we feel he doesn't compare to you!! (probably somehting to do with you owning an x-men t-shirt, thus shouting out to my inner geek) gosh, i should really start sounding my age(24), and not an obsessed 12 year old!!not that i am obsessed, or planning on starting a James Henry fanclub or anything......hmmm.....

Great Blog by the way, has been keeping me entertained for ages.

I remain your secret and anonymous biggest fan...although not so anonymous as you now know my name is Rachel and i'm 24. I really am not good at this kind of thing!. Much Love x x x x x x

Anonymous said...

Alli - if it is, then thanks!!!!!

*Goes off to look at the picture a bit more*

Rachel x

Jennifer said...

Don't ask me why; but 'The Sum Of All Bears' made me guffaw in a big way.

Anonymous said...

You know you should send these in to David White at Radio Cornwall. The county needs a laugh at the moment what with all the tourists blocking up the roads. *goes on a murderous spree*

Laura xxx