Monday, June 05, 2006

Green Wing (not) Christmas Special, and a song

I just got an email from patrick in the GW office:

Hi James,

Fine so far.

Fantastic little thing in the Guardian about your blog on Saturday!

Yeah, it sounds complimentary, but did you notice the 'little'? I think he's jealous.

Nice one!

Still sounds sarcastic.

Just one thing,

Oh, here it comes....

The special, is NOT a Christmas special. It is likely* to go out before Christmas, or after Christmas. So you might want to amend that...

Ooops. There we are, it's not really a Christmas special, as it could go out before Christmas or afterwards. Either of those time slots. It was being referred to as a Christmas special at one point, but now, apparently, it's not. Just because someone quite high up in channel 4 referred to it as a 'christmas special' doesn't mean I should make the ridiculous assumption that it's a 'christmas special'.... chizz chizz moan moan sulk.

I'm like one of those army units that goes rogue ( a 'rogue army unit') blundering about on the far South Western tip of the map, causing mischief and mayhem, until Patrick gets given a river boat and told to sort it out, while James Hendrix plays in the background. I might shave my head and hide in the delicatessen section of Tesco's later, rising out of the pate while Patrick's helicopter (he's got a helicopter now) looms in overhead, playing Ride of Valkyries. Actually I can't, I'm waiting for a phone call about my replacement Powerbook, I'll have to stay in, bugger.

Patrick's band, by the way, are having their own go at a world-cup song. So as an apology for roaming out of control all over the media this weekend, I suggest anyone reading this puts aside their totally reasonable disgust and hatred of football songs and have a look at this one, which doesn't have 'salt of the earth' type thugs marching in unison, but does include a goose, and some kittens, hurrah.

* Just to be sure, it's not set in stone that it's going out at all - don't want to jump the gun on C4 there, but you never know, the last episode might be so astonishingly mould-breaking and amazing (especially my bits) that who's to say it won't be deemed too dangerous for human eyes to see and sent into space intead where it will float into the heart of the sun and do no further damage. I mean I'm sure it will be going out, but let's not get too complacent about these things, hmm?

20 comments:

Rose said...

I thought it was just episode 9 of 9 and there was nothing particularly Christmas-y about it apart from when it would be aired.

And that Joel Veitch is rather good, isn't he?

Oh, suit yourselves.

jayne said...

I'm quite looking forward to the world cup - nice empty restaurants and cinemas if you time your visits right...

james henry said...

Patrick's band does include Joel Veitch of course, called Six Seconds of Love and all up at the rathergood.com site...

Kate said...

I could just about have waited until Christmas, but now C4 is playing hard to get?

'nearer and nearer crept the ghastly THING'

As any fule kno, if you'd lobbed a few football references into Episode 9, then they'd definitely have shown it in the next few weeks.

Rachel said...

Damn, there was me hoping to see the rather lovely Mark Heap dressed as Santa Claus.

Much Love x x

Rachel said...

Oh, and don't shave your head, you'd like look your head was on upside down, what with that rather fetching beard of yours!

More love x x x

Maud said...

What did the Guardian thing say?

baggiebird said...

Methinks channel 4 are trying to build up the anticipation for the final episode. Maybe they just want to turn every GW fan throughout the land into a gibbering wreck.

Squarah said...

If you were that desperate to "rise out of the pate" you could always order it online and get them to deliver it to you....assuming they do that in the deepest depths of Cornwall!!

Alli said...

Hurrah for Patrick for getting a starring role on your blog. Don't suppose we're honing in on a date for ep.9, although 'before Christmas or after' does have a nice ambiguous air about it. I think the channel 4 announcer made the best choice by keeping schtum about the next ep. after the last ep. went out. Can anyone give a link to the Guardian piece on Saturday?

Jennifer said...

...surely even the Sun itself wouldn't be able to withstand the pure undiluted radioactive genius of 'Your Bits', James?

The Sun would implode and die, James.

You'd be killing the solar system if you didn't let us see Episode Nine.

You'd kill us ALL, James. It would be your fault.

patroclus said...

>>I might shave my head [...] rising out of the pate<<

Your own pate? Like Athena springing fully armed from...her own head? This in itself would be an unusual spectacle.

james henry said...

That's what I meant. Or I decided that was what I meant when I couldn't work out how to do the accent thing.

cello said...

What does Christmas mean anyway? I start getting excited in September and it's now June and there's still a bit of tinsel stuck to some Sellotape on a light fitting in the hall.

That's a pretty wide window to aim for.

rob said...

"Before Christmas or after" covers the whole of the fabric of Time itself.

Channel 4 - keeping things fluid.



wfokht - some glass-half-empty Private Fraser must be doing the word verifications tonight

la said...

I was just reading your web page, james, and saw the text there was regarding romey loves jools. it sounded very interesting! :) now, will that be a real series sometimes, that we can actually watch it, or will it just not be made?

cello said...

Dear James and Rob (and any other writers reading this),

I've been wondering about the Brief Encounter quotation and whether it's a coded message from you lot to us fans, in the sense that we trust you completely and maybe you have sort of lied to us. If so, just wanted to say no need to feel degraded; we know it'll be for our own good in the end. Unless you like feeling degraded of course...

Kate said...

Patrick's band have managed to produce a world-cup song that is not only much better than all the other efforts, but also appeals to ailurophiles (ah, kittens!). Am confused, as swore would avoid all soccer related stuff, but am now afraid I might miss something.

realdoc said...

cello that's what I thought it was so out of character to put that quote in and I was feeling rather used and upset by that point and probably not thinking clearly. On reflection my trust is restored. We are all in your hands now James.

Claire said...

>>* Just to be sure, it's not set in stone that it's going out at all <<

That had better be a joke, lol! We need more Green Wing!