There are seven stages a comedy writer must inevitably go through after a script is commissioned (in this case Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG), then the final result is rejected:
SHOCK:
'Are you sure you read the right script? The one I wrote? The good one? Seriously though, are you sure you read it properly? It's quite complex written down, you might have missed a bit. You can have another go, I don't mind waiting.'
GUILT:
(I seem to skip this one usually.)
FEAR:
'Oh crap, somebody read the blog. Or saw me do that thing at that party. Or found the binbags.'
DEPRESSION:
'Does my hair look okay to you?'
DENIAL:
'I still think you read the wrong script.'
ANGER AND RAGE:
'It's too late now, I've still got your money! Hahahahha! You idiots!'
CALM ACCEPTANCE:
'Hmm, if I change the names, which bits of the script can I re-use for the other thing I'm writing at the moment?'
UPDATE: The ending on this post is a bit weak, frankly, but people shouldn't read too much into this, as the Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG script was particularly strong. Also, Evans has a new green coat.
MORE UPDATE: Ooh, it might not have been completely rejected after all, I may just have to take out some of the killings. This will call for a new opening however. And a new ending. Maybe I'll move those bits over to make a standalone short film. In which the dialogue consists mostly of 'aaaaaaargh splat'.
7 comments:
I guess it's a little like the apocryphal notion of there being only seven distinct plots which a novel can use. Seven stages of the apocalypse. Seven Charles Samurai-Stevenses. Rather constrains your emotions though, doesn't it?
Ah, shame, I was looking forward to seein that one on the telly. blog sitcom with guns... at least its not tittybangbang
I think that they did in fact, read the wrong script.
Silly buggers.
Yeesh, for a moment I thought you were talking about my project, Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMJ, but you're talking about Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG, so that's ok. Phew.
But the important question is: are you still going to be playing yourself? I'd vote you put in the actor whose first name begins with *_ and last name begins with *_. After all, if it's going to be rejected, he might as well be rejected along with it. Then you can blame him for the rejection; after all, he's a twat.
I'm now wondering if I should have said I wasn't really that bothered about being in it any more. Hmm.
I think i shall continue to play myself, but only in the medium of my real life.
aww that sounded like an excitying project james - i think if you altered it, it may not get rejected?????
can't wait for more of your work
Ros x
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