Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Seven Stages of Rejection.

There are seven stages a comedy writer must inevitably go through after a script is commissioned (in this case Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG), then the final result is rejected:

SHOCK:

'Are you sure you read the right script? The one I wrote? The good one? Seriously though, are you sure you read it properly? It's quite complex written down, you might have missed a bit. You can have another go, I don't mind waiting.'

GUILT:

(I seem to skip this one usually.)

FEAR:

'Oh crap, somebody read the blog. Or saw me do that thing at that party. Or found the binbags.'

DEPRESSION:

'Does my hair look okay to you?'

DENIAL:

'I still think you read the wrong script.'

ANGER AND RAGE:

'It's too late now, I've still got your money! Hahahahha! You idiots!'

CALM ACCEPTANCE:

'Hmm, if I change the names, which bits of the script can I re-use for the other thing I'm writing at the moment?'


UPDATE: The ending on this post is a bit weak, frankly, but people shouldn't read too much into this, as the Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG script was particularly strong. Also, Evans has a new green coat.

MORE UPDATE: Ooh, it might not have been completely rejected after all, I may just have to take out some of the killings. This will call for a new opening however. And a new ending. Maybe I'll move those bits over to make a standalone short film. In which the dialogue consists mostly of 'aaaaaaargh splat'.




9 comments:

wolfie said...

I guess it's a little like the apocryphal notion of there being only seven distinct plots which a novel can use. Seven stages of the apocalypse. Seven Charles Samurai-Stevenses. Rather constrains your emotions though, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Ah, shame, I was looking forward to seein that one on the telly. blog sitcom with guns... at least its not tittybangbang

belladona said...

Grr. I normally stick at anger and rage for some time.

Angelina said...

I think that they did in fact, read the wrong script.

Silly buggers.

Evans said...

Always with the hair! You so CRAZY.

Fat Roland said...

Yeesh, for a moment I thought you were talking about my project, Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMJ, but you're talking about Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG, so that's ok. Phew.

Valerie said...

But the important question is: are you still going to be playing yourself? I'd vote you put in the actor whose first name begins with *_ and last name begins with *_. After all, if it's going to be rejected, he might as well be rejected along with it. Then you can blame him for the rejection; after all, he's a twat.

james henry said...

I'm now wondering if I should have said I wasn't really that bothered about being in it any more. Hmm.

I think i shall continue to play myself, but only in the medium of my real life.

Anonymous said...

aww that sounded like an excitying project james - i think if you altered it, it may not get rejected?????

can't wait for more of your work
Ros x