Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Seven Stages of Rejection.

There are seven stages a comedy writer must inevitably go through after a script is commissioned (in this case Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG), then the final result is rejected:


'Are you sure you read the right script? The one I wrote? The good one? Seriously though, are you sure you read it properly? It's quite complex written down, you might have missed a bit. You can have another go, I don't mind waiting.'


(I seem to skip this one usually.)


'Oh crap, somebody read the blog. Or saw me do that thing at that party. Or found the binbags.'


'Does my hair look okay to you?'


'I still think you read the wrong script.'


'It's too late now, I've still got your money! Hahahahha! You idiots!'


'Hmm, if I change the names, which bits of the script can I re-use for the other thing I'm writing at the moment?'

UPDATE: The ending on this post is a bit weak, frankly, but people shouldn't read too much into this, as the Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG script was particularly strong. Also, Evans has a new green coat.

MORE UPDATE: Ooh, it might not have been completely rejected after all, I may just have to take out some of the killings. This will call for a new opening however. And a new ending. Maybe I'll move those bits over to make a standalone short film. In which the dialogue consists mostly of 'aaaaaaargh splat'.


wolfie said...

I guess it's a little like the apocryphal notion of there being only seven distinct plots which a novel can use. Seven stages of the apocalypse. Seven Charles Samurai-Stevenses. Rather constrains your emotions though, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Ah, shame, I was looking forward to seein that one on the telly. blog sitcom with guns... at least its not tittybangbang

belladona said...

Grr. I normally stick at anger and rage for some time.

Angelina said...

I think that they did in fact, read the wrong script.

Silly buggers.

Evans said...

Always with the hair! You so CRAZY.

Fat Roland said...

Yeesh, for a moment I thought you were talking about my project, Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMJ, but you're talking about Project TSTWTMCISOBOMOWMG, so that's ok. Phew.

Valerie said...

But the important question is: are you still going to be playing yourself? I'd vote you put in the actor whose first name begins with *_ and last name begins with *_. After all, if it's going to be rejected, he might as well be rejected along with it. Then you can blame him for the rejection; after all, he's a twat.

james henry said...

I'm now wondering if I should have said I wasn't really that bothered about being in it any more. Hmm.

I think i shall continue to play myself, but only in the medium of my real life.

Anonymous said...

aww that sounded like an excitying project james - i think if you altered it, it may not get rejected?????

can't wait for more of your work
Ros x