The greatest Evening Standard article ever written.
Pick your favourite line. Mine so far is "A black roof tile speared the American walnut floating shelf, scattering our younger daughter Ella's birthday cards", but there are so many others.
I hope Happy the cat turns up though, obvs.
UPDATE: oh, sorry, look, Happy turns up at the end. Took me a while to get that far. What with MY EYES BLEEDING.
UPDATE 2: to be fair, I'm with her on the Scientolology thing.