Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Cornish Birthday Dinosaur

What, do other counties not get a birthday dinosaur? Then, my lovely friends, you have chosen to live in the wrong bit of the world entirely. And having a second home down here doesn't count. If anything, you have proved yourself even less deserving of a birthday dinosaur, because me nor not none of my friends can afford to buy a home down here, and all the nice little villages have now become like creepy deserted sets from zombie films, only without zombies. And more floral.

Other presents: a proper 'Scrubs' top from The Mighty Evans, which if were to wear with my special congratulatory Green Wing watch would present a telecomedic crossover reality breach so powerful that... something odd would happen. Haven't worked out what yet.

Possibly my fave birthday present came from my mum though, who gave me: a bar of ASDA chocolate and an oven glove*. This cracked me right up, and I'm still not quite sure why. Perhaps it was the way she'd tied the carrier bag handles together so technically, I still got to open it. Magic.

Dinosaur puppet was from BM, who bought it in January, and has spent the intervening months fretting, not unreasonably, that I might buy it myself first.





* And some coriander. I forgot the coriander.


19 comments:

felinity said...

Many happy belated returns.

Loving the dinosaur.

irony in motion said...

Only one oven glove?

(Also, happy birthday.)

Elfgirl said...

A very Happy Birthday for yesterday! I had a dinosaur themed party when I was 9. Best birthday ever.

What kind of oven glove? I have a zebra pair but I burnt one of their ears off.

orthoclase said...

Happy birthday! Many happy returns of the day.

Are those teeth real??

Anonymous said...

very good dinosaur, very good. maybe he (she?) could star in a webcomic of his/her own...?

just saw the second episode, and i have to ask: who is the author of Statham's off the cuff poem at the evening class.
it is INCREDIBLE.
I shall be learning it by heart.

"carrier pigeon!! OOHHhhaww!
beeeep..."

poppy said...

happy birthday!

fab dinosaur - wish i had teeth like that. well, maybe not for me, but i'd like a set to look at.

little wooden spork said...

Happy belated birthday also your dinosaur is very cool. My birthday in a couple of weeks bet I don't get a dinosaur...sniff

cello said...

So, is the dinosaur also the oven glove?

james henry said...

No, although they're similar colours, so I must try not to get confused..

Thank you for birthday congratulations, I worked very hard to get to my 33rd birthday, and so I deserve them.

I believe the pigeon poem was by Richard - it feels quite Richardy anyway.

Danny Stack said...

Happy Birthday James! Enjoy.

Richard said...

I don't think the pigeon poem was by me. A very happy late birthday from London, where the pavements are paved with paving.

belladona said...

Hey! Happy birthday James! How nice - what could be better than a birthday dinosaur. I got a lovely cuddly godzilla with cloth teeth for christmas so I know the joy. Heh heh...
Anyway...

jayne said...

Happy Birthday - cool dinosaur! My mum bought me a hammer drill that I'm worried about using in case I clip an electric cable and fry. I would have preferred an oven glove (and some coriander)...

rob said...

Please may I be the last person to wish you a very happy birthday? Until next year, that is.
33, eh? Nice topical age with Easter coming up.

The carrier pigeon poem was written, I think, by Fay's dad; at least in part. So there should really have been an additional material credit for that. Tragically it did not survive intact; every second counts in the edit, and one line got butchered.

Full text:

"Carrier pigeon, carrier pigeon, bringer of disease. Oh gnarled claw, hobbling, disease eating away at your very being. Look out, a car! Too ill to fly, thud..dead..no I.C.U for you." (STATHAM does flatline)

james henry said...

Magic - thanks Rob.

frangelita said...

Happy Birthday, am v jealous re birthday dinosaur. Want one.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the full poem.
seeing this written as it was (probably) in the script makes me marvel at Mr Heap's performance all the more.

glorious!

circelily said...

Ooo another 33-er - that's why we loves Life on Mars so Much - we woz born then.

Happy Birthday, oh he who is far more talented than me.

Anonymous said...

you should be really pleased about that dinosaur, because my grand-dad got me a pencil for my birthday. and really late "happy birthday"-words.
-M