The Cornish Birthday Dinosaur

What, do other counties not get a birthday dinosaur? Then, my lovely friends, you have chosen to live in the wrong bit of the world entirely. And having a second home down here doesn't count. If anything, you have proved yourself even less deserving of a birthday dinosaur, because me nor not none of my friends can afford to buy a home down here, and all the nice little villages have now become like creepy deserted sets from zombie films, only without zombies. And more floral.

Other presents: a proper 'Scrubs' top from The Mighty Evans, which if were to wear with my special congratulatory Green Wing watch would present a telecomedic crossover reality breach so powerful that... something odd would happen. Haven't worked out what yet.

Possibly my fave birthday present came from my mum though, who gave me: a bar of ASDA chocolate and an oven glove*. This cracked me right up, and I'm still not quite sure why. Perhaps it was the way she'd tied the carrier bag handles together so technically, I still got to open it. Magic.

Dinosaur puppet was from BM, who bought it in January, and has spent the intervening months fretting, not unreasonably, that I might buy it myself first.





* And some coriander. I forgot the coriander.