Due to frantic decorating of new house, which has involved an astonishing and unprecedented amount of manly activity, viz: phoning plumbers and carpet-fitters, painting with extendable rollers, parallel parking, screwing down floorboards using a drill with a screwdriver bit, and using a girt big Stanley knife to hack about the carpet in the (prospective) nursery, this blog might go a bit intermittent for a week or so. OH NOES HOW WILL YOU COPE!!!
The astonishingness and manliness of the above activities is in no way undermined by the fact that Patroclus had to show me how to do pretty much all of the above. Or that it's her drill. Or that the first thing I did when I got back to the other house (the rented one, they're overlapping by a fortnight or so, I haven't got two houses, I'm not a BILLIONAIRE) was have a lovely deep bubble bath.
Grrr etc.
15 comments:
First comment. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
p.s.
No, seriously, what AM I going to do for the rest of the week?
Extendable rollers are funny. They just blimmin' are.
Extendable rollers?
Hats off.
You poor man. There's no way you'd get me doing any of that stuff. I always ask my Mum (who has her own hammer drill and knows how to do everything). And she enjoys it. Honest!
I am having a brilliant time. Today I realised that the self-assembly foldaway table B&Q had sold me had been sent out of the factory all wrong, so I made it better with the drill. I did double check it was't me who'd got it wrong, and much to my surprise, it wasn't.
Later I went into a nearby car parts shop to see if they had any masking tape. THEY DID!!!!!
Careful now, you might get so excited by DIY that you don't have time for Warcraft anymore then where would you be?
Personally, I think it's been too long since Steve and the other guy have had an adventure. Just think what they could do with masking tape and a drill!
Ahhhh, I enjoyed toy-fu. It may well come back one day, but in a fresh incarnation (it actually started as a roleplaying game in Canterbury, where everyone had to turn up with a toy and we'd battle it out across Paula's flat).
Maybe next it will be a MMORPG, that would be aces.
More Toy-Fu! More Toy-Fu!
Us blog readers are so demanding. I shall fill the dead space left by your absence from the blogosphere contemplating all that is wrong with the world, up to and including how any Green Wing writery bod can fail to be a BILLIONAIRE (that word just does work better in big shouty caps).
Although if you were a BILLIONAIRE you might not have time for any blogging at all, and this would be a bad thing.
If you were a BILLIONAIRE, you'd have staff to do your blogging for you, surely?
You'd just better not have lost Steve in the move...
Erm... Steve is fine...
to go with your extendable roller you will need a paintbrush taped onto the end of a broom handle to reach all the unreaceable corners, particularly on the stairs.
You do have stairs don't you?
Ho Yuss. And today myself and my assistant Matt G will indeed be assembling an ad hoc extended painbrush/squirrel poking device of TERROR.
Plan B: standing at the bottom of the stairs with a tin and sort of generally chucking the pain upwards.
Speaking as someone who recently built and decorated a house (with only the help of builders and decorators) I am only mildly impressed by your testosterone levels.
If you have woodwork to paint, may I reccomend a paint-mate. It's a magic box that keeps brushes from drying out, so you don't have to keep cleaning them. How's that for arcane DIY knowledge?
Also you can save a lot of time with stripy paint.
A paint mate you say? I will investigate, ta.
Useful tips I remembered: at the end of the day, wrap rollers in a plastic bag and tape it closed, which keeps them wet.
Also, do not attempt to 'throw shapes' to Swedish pop combo 'The Knife' whilst holding a heavily-loaded brush, or you will get pain in your eyes.
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