Yes, well, that was remarkable prescient of me. Broadband was supposed to go on today. Instead, I get a message on my phone telling me it will be going on in another week's time.
ME: Hello, my broadband was supposed to be going on today, but I've just got a message telling me it will be next week instead. I was specifically promised it would take only five working days. This is ten working days altogether. Patroclus and I are both self-employed types, who work from home, and thus it was quite important that the broadband went on reasonably close to the time I was told it would go on. Consequently I am cross.
BT MAN: Well, the thing is, we only got your order today.
ME: No, you got it three weeks ago. Here is the reference number, and a photo of me making the order, holding up that day's newspaper.
BT MAN: Oh.
ME: Yes, fucking 'Oh'.
BT MAN: Well, the other way of looking at it is, we only put your order through today.
ME: I am now more cross.
BT MAN: The good news is, I can definitely promise the broadband will be going on in another week's time.
ME: One day I will build a mighty castle from the bones of BT support staff. The hallway will be carpeted in the skins of the fallen, and I will make a throne from all your skulls, in which I will sit, cursing your blackened souls until the end of time itself.
BT MAN: Heard it.
ME: I hate you. I hate you so much.
BT MAN: Yeah yeah, whatevs.
UPDATE: yes well, it's working now. I can only assume British Telecom realised it stood no chance against THE AWESOME POWER OF THE BLOG!
*looks at next on list*
Right. South West Water....