Having recently outed my dad as a comedy genius, I feel it only fair to reveal to the nation the best conversation I've ever had with my mum ever. This was a while ago - pre-blog, but was going to come out sooner or later...
We were discussing whether mysterious origins of my gran on my dad's side (she was adopted, and never talks about her past. Dad was raised C of E, but went to one of them Haberdashers schools). And my mum said:
MUM: Well we always thought there might be a bit of jewishness on your dad's side, what with his nose...
At which point my dad, confused, crosses his eyes, trying to check out his own nose (which is biggish, and got broken years ago in a boxing match - my dad is tops). And then mum looks at me and says:
MUM: And you've always been very tidy.
I laughed solidly for about an hour, and that was as far as that discussion ever got. But ever since then, Jews = the tidy people.
UPDATE: just to add to this, Best Mate said a while ago: 'You just love the idea of possibly being a bit jewish so you can have the slightly exotic outsider thing without actually having the emotional fucking awfulness of members of your family dying in the Holocaust. You monstrous twat'.
To which I said 'Oooooh! Jealous!'.
Or I would have done if I'd thought of it in time.