Friday, January 26, 2007

Last night...

...at a party at somewhere located "beneath Glass, on the former site of Elysium....." which also has a secret tunnel, and "and a lighting system which lets the untouchables see the touchables, but not vice versa", I stood in an indoor gazebo and accidentally spat fish on a Guardian television reviewer during a conversation about Battlestar Galactica.

How many of you can say that, hmm? HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SAY THAT?

26 comments:

JT said...

Not Charlie?!

Anonymous said...

Nancy Banks-Smith?

Anonymous said...

Well I could say that. Wouldn't be true, though.

I'm not that cool.

Anonymous said...

That depends. Was it halibut you spat?

Jayne said...

Sam Wolleston likes Battlestar Galactica - it was Sam wasn't it?

PS I want to be Nancy Banks Smith when I grow up...

PPS Or Laura Roslin...

Anonymous said...

What does spat fish mean? Actually spitting fish from one's mouth? Or is it slang?

Orb said...

Indoor gazebo?

Isn't that a bit, er, pointless?

Even more pointless than the outdoor ones, I mean.

baggiebird said...

Childish behaviour alert.....


THAT

You know it's a very easy word to say

Imo said...

More to the point HOW MANY OF US WANT TO SAY IT!

Have you been taking drugs?!?

Gareth said...

Hello
There was a bit of chip in it as well, I think. A meal in itself.
Nice talking to you though.
Gareth

james henry said...

Ooh sorry again G. Later on I suggested me and one of the writers from Drop the Dead Donkey should be best mates forever because we're both tall comedy writers who have written for shows in which an Ungulate is Verbed, so maybe you got off with just a spitting...

I had a bit of a headache this morning, but it was all worth it. Free booze!

richard said...

Was the tall "Drop the Dead Donkey" writer Guy Jenkin? Because he really is very tall.
Though I thought he and Andy Hamilton had a suitable arrangement whereby if you averaged their heights you got a perfectly workably-sized individual.

sylvia said...

Oh I'm glad someone has a social life. My evenings out are usually to church committee meetings. And all we get is free tea.

Gorilla Bananas said...

"...accidentally spat fish on a Guardian television reviewer during a conversation about Battlestar Galactica."

Why didn't you do it on purpose? There is no moral merit without intent, Mr Henry. I once spat beetles at the film critic of The Independent. I then rubbed them into his face so he knew I meant it.

flossie said...

Our work christmas party was at that place - it's got loads of beds hasn't it? I never did find the secret tunnel or spot any untouchables looking.

Isn't it just vile?

smoo2 said...

'we're both tall comedy writers who have written for shows in which an Ungulate is Verbed'...

Had to look that up but now I understand the joke..ha ha very good.
It's not good if you have to refer to the dictionary to understand a joke though is it...?

james henry said...

smoo2, you have raised a very profound point there, and the answer is:

Yes, it is good, because if you don't know what an ungulate is, it's still a funny word, but if you do know, you get to feel rewarded. And if you didn't know, but looked it up, you get double points, congratulations!

This is why it bugs me when editing types go through your scripts taking out references they think people won't get: if it's well-written, it won't matter if people don't get the exact reference, they should still be able to work out the joke (cf. the multiple cultural references in The Simpsons, the fantastic self-referential stuff in Arrested Development, the film references in Spaced).

Sometimes of course, you just sound as if you've swallowed a thesaurus (cf. Russell Brand, Will Self, sometimes me).

smoo2 said...

Ooh, I feel all intellectual now, thankyou James!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but I bet you can't say you ever snorted snot all over yourself whilst trying to impress a guy you thought was hot.

So, basically, I don't think you have anything to worry about.


p.s.
No, I DON'T think I'll sign with my real name....

violetforthemoment said...

That place does sound a bit vile. I'd nly go on the promise of free booze and spittable fish.

Off-topic, sorry, but I got to use your Open Source Reindeer Joke recently james. Hence I have been crowned Comedy Queen of Cumbria and am being fanned by fawning slaves with palm leaves as I type this. Should you wish to visit my golden mountaintop fortress I will have a Roast Beast put on special to show my gratitude.

Anonymous said...

I'm intrigued to know what type of fish was spat...

I think it would add extra colour to the anecdote if we knew the species. Was it Cod? Halibut? Red Snapper? Gudgeon? Tuna?

Please enlighten us...

james henry said...

Cod. They had very small cups of fish and chips, so about five thin fries and a nugget of battered fish. A really good idea actually, as sometimes that's all you want. Needless to say, I had about twelve.

Anonymous said...

'They had very small cups of fish and chips'...oooo how very medja.


word ver=fodbyr ?where they keep the small cups of fish and chips in a cornish farmhouse

james henry said...

Yes, people were saying things like 'I say Gavin, what a witty parody of working-class food, fwah fwah, rub a tad more cocaine into my gums would you, pumpkin, ooh I've become ensnared on the gazebo, help my slingbacks are covered in oomskah' that sort of thing.

It was ace.

Steve Dix said...

Funny you should say that. I spit fish all the time. Only thing it's good for, in my book.

http://www.stevedix.de/blog/536

leila said...

They were serving tiny cups of fish and chips at a champagne press event I had to go to recently. They tried to cover their patronising catering choice with the claim that fish and chips goes surprisingly well with champagne. Not as well as champagne goes with champagne, it turns out.