Thanks be to Sparrowhawk, who suggested I get the Intego Virus Barrier to cleanse and purify my iBook, because it seems to have worked.
What I liked about it (even apart from the working) was that they clearly realized that the average Mac user's knowledge of how computers work is gleaned solely from the film 'Tron' (which, spooky woo, was on this weekend, but I thought this before I saw it again). Thus the Virus Barrier interface is designed to look like a particularly futuristic First Person Shooter, complete with Eighties-style LED countdown as it checks files.
Now because my knowledge of how computers work is gleaned solely from the film 'Tron' , I like to ascribe a look to each application as it scurries around the inside of my laptop. I have a whole range of in-head concept designs ranging from:
1. Cool sexy robot ladies like the ones from that Bjork video,
2. Cool sexy robot ladies like Morrigun from the ABC Warriors.
And Intego knew this, because when after about twenty minute the Virus Barrier found an infected file, it sound 'Infected file found' in a slightly breathy female voice. And later when I clicked on 'repair file' it said 'virus deleted' with just a hint of haughty froideur (may have made that word up), with an underlying tone 'and when sir is ready to stop arsing about and give me a real job to do, sir is surely aware that sir only has to ask...'
Also, can you believe the foyer of BBC TV Centre isn't a wi-fi zone? Sometimes I wonder what exactly I pay mice licence fees for*
*that was a genuine typo, but I'm going to keep it.