Friday, July 14, 2006

Sorrry sorry sorry

Argh - I've just got in and checked my email, amongst which was a politely-worded request from someone asking me to critique a Spongebob Squarepants spec script they had written.

I have been sent a few spec scripts by people, and unfortunately, I just don't have time to mark people's work for them. Not if I want to get any writing of my own done, which I'm afraid to tell you, I do. Also, I do kind of worry that if I read someone's script and it contains elements similar to something I'm already writing myself, unpleasantness will result, so it's best to keep things nice and simple by not reading other people's work at all ever.

Also, I have never seen a single episode of Spongebob Squarepants (although I do have a copy of a song from the soundtrack called 'Best Day Ever', a fabbo Beach Boys pastiche), so I wouldn't have the faintest idea what an excellent Spongebob Squarepants spec script was if it danced up to me wearing a hat with a flashing neon sign saying 'I am an excellent Spongebob Squarepants spec script '. And I've got no idea how American animation scripts are laid out. So all in all I am not the best candidate for that particular task.

All of which I was going to put in the reply, but I've only just got in, and am quite literally tired, and I seem to have somehow both deleted the email and emptied the trash bit as well. I am jenius.

So apologies, Spongebob Squarepants spec script man, on a number of levels. However I would say this: if you've got the format right (fairly easy to check, there's all sorts of sample stuff drifting about on the internet), and you think it's pretty funny, and at least one smart friend has cast an eye over your script and not vomited in embarrassment with the reading of it, then for god's sake send it off to the appropriate authorities, not a lanky english writer with the haircut of a sensible lesbian (and, apparently, Take-That-era Robbie Williams - there will be recriminations for that, La Patroclus, don't think there won't be). Good luck with it mon frere.

And no photos. If I start putting regular photos of myself up on the blog, it's just the slippery slope to referring to myself in the third person and singing songs about keeping it real. Although Patrick did inform me that I will be on the 'making of' bit on the GW2 DVD, being really very rude about actors indeed*, so that's something.

Also, I slightly annoyed an actual proper Doctor Who earlier today, but that's a whole different thing.

Sleep now.



* In a nice way.

17 comments:

RachelFunkeh said...

Spongebob Squarepants, now thats something i can talk about. Shame its aimed at kids, and not the adult i am. But who cares about such age related themes when one is pissed, drunk on Bafta GW cocktails*. Ah well at least its scared the kids that have taken up sanctuary in my freinds living room...probably watching Spongebob Squarepants while getting high on their own chavness.

Rachel x

*Gw cocktails, yeah thanks for that Ori!Lol!

Anonymous said...

I thought Spongebob Squarepants was a big piece of cheese - this is based on the pictorial evidence, not the giveaway clue in the name. I know nothing.
*hangs head in shame*

Helen said...

:( for no pictures but understand the reasons :) for being in the 'making of' bit of GW2 DVD. I have never understood the fascination that my friends have of sponge bob square pants, they think it's great whereas I can't see the point and don't like it at all but never mind. I want to know about this annoying of an actual proper doctor who....what happened??!

realdoc said...

I'm with Helen...which Dr. Who? Jon Pertwee or is he dead? You could still annoy him if he was dead I suppose. Bringing flowers to his grave wearing bunny ears perhaps.

leonie said...

spongebob squarepants is not something you (or anyone else for that matter) should miss.

it is majestic. and, at the same time, very very odd.

woot said...

And Patrick is fantastic!

Ems said...

Which Doctor Who did you manage to annoy?!

james henry said...

The celery one.

Anonymous said...

Peter Davison? Mr Button Moon? How could you upset him. A Button Moon/Bob the Builder fracas?

Hamilton's Brain said...

Did you shout his name out like he was a thing?

james henry said...

Well now I wish I had.

skeadugenga said...

How is the dog/pants situation? They must have made an appearance by now, unless the dog is actually a new variety of small furry ruminant.

Rabidus Badgerus said...

Glad to see I'm not alone in my love for Spongebob squarepants. Though I would still rather see a pant-wearing badger on our screens; a badger's acting talents are rather underestimated, I fear.

Bry said...

if you look like robbie williams at any stage you're ok!! :P i don't think he's ever looked like a sensible lesbian...although looking like you've escaped from take that in 2006 isn't the best look!

Miss Moon said...

I thought doing that sort of thing didn't get you any where? Isn't it always better to write an original script? Usually they just throw those sample script things in the bin, for the same reasons you were mentioning re. the unpleasantness that could result.

james henry said...

Hello MM

In the States, it's accepted form to write a spec script based on an already existing series (currently Lost and House are popular choices). In the UK, less so - there are fewer team-written shows, and producers tend to look for original voices, rather than for someone who can blend in...

Miss Moon said...

Oh that's interesting! Glad I live in the UK...