Just had some notes back on the first draft of an episode of I've been writing for a new children's animated show (unnamed, obviously).
Note reads: 'Make it less gay please'.
Annoyingly, the rampant gayosity to which they're objecting comes from my inclusion of a previous notes from one of the other producers, who wanted one of the minor characters to say something, well, really quite camp. I thought this was funny and put it in. And now I'm taking it out again, with a mental image of all the people in the office shaking their heads and saying 'I don't know where that came from, honestly, he's not right, it's probably all those pasties.'
This weird variation on Chinese Whispers happens a lot in children's telly, where there are usually at least three people taking turns to poke the writer with a stick, but often not actually talking to each other. I sometimes wonder if I could recreate the scene from that Sidney Sheldon mini series about a conwoman with a dimply chin (that wasn't the title) where she goes on a cruiseship and challenges two chess grand masters at the same time, then plays them off against each other by running from room to room, so they are effectively up against each other, and then they both claim a draw, which she's betted on heavily, or something, I forget the details.
If only I could perfect this technique, and apply it to the world of scriptwriting, I could rapidly become a millionaire and take over the world. But it does rely upon locking any spectators in a room until the whole thing has finished, and then making an escape in a speedboat, wearing a party dress, and I've lost my speedboat.
Other things I've had to take out of scripts for children's telly:
A humorous chase scene across wet cement.
Dramatic climaxes involving people tied to chairs.
A fight between a giant robot library and a sentient carpark.
My concept for a Tim Burton-style series about evil aliens called The HellieTubbies (like the obvious children's characters, only with stitches for eyes and foot-long claws). Apparently this would be The Most Sue-able Children's series ever.
A chainsaw fight.
The odd thing is, it's only the last one where I thought 'hmm.. not sure I'm going to get away with this...'