Friday, December 16, 2005

I would star, obviously, so the piece could remain true to my vision.

So my ipod starting working again, hurrah! And last night the extractor fan in the bathroom broke - boo - then this morning I mended it with a paperclip - hurrah!

Honestly, all this technology-based emotional upheaval, it's like an opera, one of those proper ones with horned helmets and trapdoors and shrieking (I don't really know opera).



So I should be happy about the ipod. Except... the thing is, I got back into listening to my minidisc player, which had got pushed to the back of a drawer the minute my shiny new toy arrived. I had discs crammed full of all sorts of random stuff, most of which had terribly vague titles like 'random stuff'*. And as none of the titles come up on the screen, listening to each compilation disc was like a little journey into the past, with the cut-off point being September of last year. It's like 'I heart 2004'.

Only now my ipod's back, all shiny and happy as though nothing ever happened. If this was a film, the minidisc player would be voiced by Claire Forlani, and would currently be putting on a terribly brave voice as it heads back into the darkness, replaced by the sinister white interloper (voiced by Portia de Rossi, who I reckon would be great).

So at this point in the film, I'm in a posh cafe with ipod/Portia, and she's laughing, and I'm trying to smile, but I'm secretly having a slow-motion flashback to all the time minidisc/Claire tried to tell me she loved me but dammit I was just too slow to see it.

I see Billy Crystal as the loudmouthed extractor fan, by the way. And I spent really quite a long time thinking 'Hmm, maybe it should be Jennifer Connolly instead of Claire Forlani, but I think I made the right decision in the end.

Another way of looking at this is that I've just finished the three projects I was working on, and my brain is still spinning without anything to focus on. Until my second hand copy of Mutants Down Under turns up and I can finally start working out the background for post-apocalyoptic anthropomorphic australian ninja... stuff. It's something to do.

* Seriously.

8 comments:

Who is this Dave? said...

Had me worried there for a minute. I hyperlinked to a post of yours on mine today, and had a horrible feeling it was the one you've just deleted, thus utterly confusing my readers (I can do that by myself, thank you).

However, it wasn't.

So I needn't really have commented. But the word verification (eouxxhh) was the sound I made on reading your note, so I felt drawn inexorably to responding.

patroclus said...

You still appear to be in two minds re. Jennifer/Claire dilemma, btw.

james henry said...

Symptomatic of my confusion there, although I've finally settled on Claire. And now I'm doomed to walk straight into Jennifer in Falmouth Tesco's*, I just know it.

BM very perceptively asked the other day: 'why do you only fancy the boss-eyed ones?'. Which was a good question.


* although we have a Cost Coffee now, next to the new Toni and Guy's. I barely recognise this town anymore.

Adam said...

Ah, Mutants Down Under. I have a whole pile of those things at home that I bought many years ago for what then seemed like the princely sum of £10. I thought MDU seemed a bit overpowered, but some interesting animals - or is it the dinosaur one that was unbalanced? Ah, happy days, anyway...

woot said...

hmmm, i am Down Under but not a mutant (hopefully). Have never heard of it before - will have to go have a lookie. May have met some of the mutants in question on the beach...

wv of cesxsan - mutant i met on the beach last wednesday. Three eyes on two heads but a lovely bloke.

BiScUiTs said...

Wow Mutants Down Under sounds great. Especially the 'Riding giant mutant insects' part. I think that might be an interesting form of alternative transport. Maybe it would even solve London's traffic problem, especially if you introduced insects that eat each other to the roads.

Steve Dix said...

Aha. The iPod obviously wanted a little holiday, and bringing out the discman made it a bit jealous...

..They work like that, you know. Don't let anyone tell you different.

As for the giant mutant insects, that reminds me of the routine I did at my first stand-up gig, about embracing the possibilities Genetic Engineering gives us, and breeding a race of superwarriors who ride around on dinosaurs, with laser cannon on the sides of their heads (the dinosaurs, not the warriors). The Toy rights could run into millions.

Hmm. Word verification : abqropje. Sounds like a Dutch crime against garden furniture, whilst under the influence of Eggnog.

Stef the engineer said...

Mmmm, Portia de Rossi....
Sorry, what was the rest of your post again?