Into Mothercare on Monday, to buy a parasol to fix onto the front of the Blue Kitten's pushchair. However, just as I approached the counter and came to say the word 'parasol', I realised I had never actually said the word aloud before, and became gripped by the fear the store assistant would react thusly:
ASSISTANT: Ooooooh, a parasol! Ai didn't realize ai was working in an boutique for Edwardian ladies! Hark, as I sell the parasol, bracin' meself for the inevitable twirlin' and promenadin' that will inevitably take place! Ooooooh, a parasol! And so on.
So it came out out like:
ME: Excuse me, can you tell me if you sell a *mumbles* parasol, which I can attach to the front of a pushchair?
ASSISTANT gives me an odd look.
ASSISTANT: I'm not sure we really do that sort of thing.
ASSISTANT: Do you mean maybe a small plastic one?
ME: Well, normal size, for, you know, a parasol.
ASSISTANT: (relieved) Oh! I thought you said 'roundabout'!
Later, this item arrived in the post. I can confirm that in operation, this devise is both DISGUSTING and AWESOME.