Friday, November 28, 2008

I caught up with an old friend from school today. We hadn't really hung out for about twenty years, and our friendship was based, as far as I was concerned, on me shouting 'let's play judo!' and pushing him over every lunch break, while he sighed patiently. He is now a policeman, a fact he chose to break to me over the phone thusly:

FRIEND: You do know I'm a copper, at the moment?

It was the 'at the moment' I particularly liked, as though later that afternoon he may well have started robbing banks, or stabbing passersby on a whim.

Later, conversation turned to Facebook.

FRIEND: (in disbelief) You go on Facebook? But you have a baby, and work from home! How do you have time?

Sometimes I forget what it's like for people who have proper jobs.

Things You Probably Couldn't Get Away With In The Police:

1. Doing, at most, three hours of Policing a day, and claiming the rest of the day counts as work, because you were 'thinking about crime'.

2. Claiming to have solved new cases, when you actually just dug up some old cases from a couple of years ago, and changed the titles and some of the names.

3. Often not going outside for days on end.

4. Getting bored with writing up crime reports, so ending them with 'and then a load of zombies arrived'.

5. I had something very clever for 5, but I've since forgotten it.

Anyway, abandoning this post, because it wasn't really going anywhere, there seems to be some kind of mini blog meeting evolving for Monday night (1st December), around 6-6.30 at The Mortimer on Berners Street, just off the Tottenham Court Rd end of Oxford Street. Currently confirmed as attendees: Boz, Jayne, James Moran. Anyone who's around is quite welcome, be they blogger, commenter, or lurker. I will probably have some geeky object on the table if I remember, but we will easily be the most glamorous and exciting group of people in place anyway, so will be easy to find.

23 comments:

Salvadore Vincent said...

6. Wearing a dressing-gown instead of a uniform.

Lucy said...

Knackers, I want to come to your mini blog meeting. Why couldn't it have been tuesday when I probably am in London? MMMM?

BlackLOG said...

7. Spend the shift watch episodes of "Ashes to Ashes" and claim you are doing crime research, 'Gov'

8. This was actually funnier then your 5., but as a guest I did not want to appear rude.

9. Have dodgy purchases from ebay delivered to the station.....

Paul Campbell said...

Well, Lucy, it is on Tuesday too.

Or, rather, there's another gathering on Tuesday - Piers' semi-regular event at The Dover Castle.

Hamish Thompson said...

That's great.

I think number 5 is the thing where you have a momentary flash of something urgent to search for, fire up the browser and find that you've forgotten it before you can start.

james henry said...

Sounds about right.

I've planned this trip to london very badly, as I'm not only missing Piers' meet (although Cornwall writers will be being ably represented by Oli), I'm also missing a dinner with cello the following night.

:(

Orb said...

Am dying to know what objet d'geek you plump for.

It's almost worth hopping on a train to find out.

Almost.

Curse you, London, for being all 350-miles-away-ey. (shakes fist)

Jayne said...

James, your spellchecker is dodgy. It's managed to replace twitchy and peculiar with glamorous and exciting. Not that I'm complaining but it could be a handicap when writing about zombies...

Annie A said...

Sometimes I find it difficult to decide whose blog is funnier, yours or Patroclus's. It must be a laugh a minute living with you two.

james henry said...

MINE IS FUNNIER.

Newf said...

How was your bloggy meet-up? I couldn't attend because I'm on the other side of the universe (Scotland), and I wouldn't attend anyway because I'm not "one of you", I'm a "some day in the future one of you". Besides, as funny and genuinely inspirational as these writers blogs are, I'd be scared of stumbling across one of those writers who post in forums, because many of such specimens are some of the most self-important hacks I've ever seen online. I'd be afeared.

Newf again said...

^ Ignore that question. Dates (e.g. "1st December") don't seem to be picked up by my eyes, which is why I'm so great with deadlines.

I appear to be spamming your blog slightly... :D

Annie A said...

Hey, I realise it's not a competition and all, but I think I've finally deduced that yours is funnier.

james henry said...

Well, gosh, I don't know what to- WAIT A MINUTE, SHE'S JUST SAID THE SAME THING ON PATROCLUS'S!

cello said...

The 'dinner' has turned into a lunch extravaganza at the Fat Duck on Wednesday, for heaven's sake. These casual things have a strange way of snowballing into epic gastronomic events.

Will try to pop in for a quick one on Monday though, just so I can check out the new-dadness in person. Want to verify exactly how knackered you are.

james henry said...

Ha, I am not knackered AT ALL!

Be lovely to see you cello, if you can make it. Right, I'm off now...

oyebilly said...

Hmmm, I could possibly be around tomorrow, so I may drop in.

*notes details of venue*

Sylvia said...

I'd love to come along. alas, have caught another nasty bug from children so it's best to stay home (sob). Hope you all have a lovely evening.

Jayne said...

fell asleep on train. Woke up in sodding Banbury (could have been worse, could have been Birmingham). Ripped off by taxi driver. Got home 2am and decided to take wheelie bin out front because a. bin men coming early and b. drunk. Fell over with bin on top of me. Fingers bleeding. Ouch. wv scabdoto - how my fingers and head are feeling this morning.

cello said...

I failed you. Very sorry. Got summoned home to babysit so that Mr C could go and hear Messiaen's Quartet for the End of Time in Berkhamsted. So I didn't get to hug you or gloat over your under-eye shadows - but I did get to watch Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two.

oyebilly said...

I also fell asleep on the train, but woke up in Northolt. Could have been worse. Was rather hungover this morning.

Had a good time though, so it was all worth it.

Imo said...

Would like to know how Cello managed to get a table at The Fat Duck, so I can pass on any SAS tactics on "how to book a table..." to my friend who has spend hours, nay indeed days trying to get into this establishment!

Blogger said...

Find out how 1,000's of people like YOU are working for a LIVING by staying home and are living their dreams TODAY.
GET FREE INSTANT ACCESS