All much appreciated. My Mum came round last night, saw Blue Kitten grizzling in her cot, and swiftly had her in her arms, gently bouncing her gently up and down. Grizzling stopped in about half a second. Cue astonishment from me and Patroclus, who'd are still worrying about how you pick her up without her head falling off. However, we have now adopted the practice, and are thinking of starting a series of workshops set in the South of France to bring this wise old folk remedy to the masses.
Next Week: Babies like shiny things, apparently.
Stephen Mangan is already trying to set up Blue Kitten with his own infant son, although there are some complications about the dowry. I've had to explain that I'm considering a wide range of portfolios, including Blue Kitten going into indentured servitude to Steven Moffat until 2026, when she will be playing the first female Doctor Who. Anyway, it's early days yet.
Note to casual readers whose attitude to babies are that they're all pretty much pink bags of shite, so why go on about them : yes, I'm afraid this blog will go off the boil for a bit. Probably come back in a couple of weeks, when the novelty has worn off, and I'm back to whinging about producers again.
22 comments:
Can the same wise old folk remedy be adopted for Producers?
Aaaah, you are already learning the bouncy-walk, which all babies under 3 months demand. Who wants to go to sleep in absolute stillness when you can be delightfully disorientated by your dad, and the contents of your stomach gently swirled around as you nod off?
trouble is, you carry on doing the bouncy walk carrying anything, even when they're teenagers (rather embarrasing in Tescos when you're spotted jiggling a pound of carrots and some milk0
ahhhhh babies are ace. but yes the bouncy walk for producers would be something to see
I should done that with Jon Plowman. That or the airplane ride, where you grab a hand and a foot and swing them round in a circle. Let's wait and see who the new BBC 3 controller is before we commit.
Well, as I'm expecting my very own pink bag of shite in 6 months, I'm enjoying it all greatly. And clearly my personal approval is all you were ever looking for, so carry on.
Best thing about babies? They can see black-and-white MUCH better than colour. So show them a chessboard -- it totally engrosses them. :)
don't worry about the wobbly head when picking up, have you tried bathing her yet!
Bathing her tonight. Coastguard and South West Water have been alerted.
South of France? Of course. It's the only place.
She's lovely, congratulations to you both. Good luck with the bathing and watch out for the temperature changes (learned the hard way that they produce an interesting reaction). Have an industrial sized stack of towels and nappies handy - K
I'm not sure Jon Plowman* is up to a airplane ride. I think he might expire. I reckon Andrew Newman is up to one though. Don't think you should be giving the BK airplane rides just yet, by the way.
*he actually looks a bit like a baby.
Oh gosh, the first bath! Don't worry, you'll be doing it in your sleep (maybe literally!) before long.
When I bathed number 2 daughter for the first time, number 1 daughter was astounded at how little time she actually spent in the water:
No.1 daughter: Is she getting out ALREADY?
Me: Yes, she's all finished.
No.1 daughter: But she hasn't even played with any toys...!
You see? So much fun awaits you all (I really mean that, btw!)
The force of the suck is astonishing. We always wanted to try to stick one of ours to the wall in the manner of static charged balloons but never quite had the nerve. You could try it with a safety net.
PS Jiggly walk up and down th stairs is a good remedy for all manner of grizzling
Referring to yesterday's picture, as I somewhat missed the boat: that's some serious cute right there.
Could it not be said that producers are little more than pink bags of shite in which case a spot of judicioulsy applied bouncing and jiggling might make all the difference to a meeting.
Congratulations to both of you - you've TOTALLY made an actual baby! And not even with Lego!
Woo Hoo!
Kitten-warblings totally understandable. have you been shown the power and glory of... swaddling? [cue day-early pirate noises]
and belated congratulations!
Blue Kitten is adorable - congratulations!
Jennifer
Portland, OR
USA
Belated congrats to you both (I'm so behind on the times)
Blue Kitten looks... well... like a baby :D but, ok, a cute one. (urg... is this a sign of impending cluckiness?)
Oh, just go ahead and be as gooey as you like. It's only sensible if you've fathered the first female Doctor Who...
Yeah, I for one wish to know the gory details. It is after all as close as I'll ever get to having one myself! I hope bathtime went well.
Oh I totally ge tthe gooey stuff, although my ovaries may need defending especialy as my youngest just weaned, I have 3 boys and love that loved up babymoon feeling!
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