Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Parade Organisers Are Very Strict

Just wanted to surface from the daze of sleep deprivation and bouncy-walking* that is the first ten days of parenthood to put a shout out (as I believe the young people say), for the makers of the (organic, oh yes) re-washable nappies the blue kitten seems to be getting through at a rate of knots. People laughed when we said we wanted to use washeable nappies, laughed and pointed and called us names and pulled our hair.

But they reckoned without cool Cornish nappy technology, or 'Kernow Nap-Tech' (as I reckon it should be called), the company being called One Life, and it's working really well. You buy a job lot of about three hundred, which come in a wicker basket with a load of extras (including liners made of coconut matting something nice and soft, which you just flush away), and then you're done and don't have to buy nappies again. Just bung the used ones in a plastic bucket (provided) and wash them all together when it's full. I think the only disadvantage is they're a bit hotter than the disposeable ones, so you have to take that into account with blankets and stuff.

Blue Kitten and I have come to a pleasing arrangement that on the rare occasion I physically do the nappy changing, there's nothing nasty there, which is working well so far. My role is mostly to sit next to Patroclus as she does the real work, saying things like 'do you want a wipey thing?', 'you missed a bit', and 'hurrah! Princess Pooeypants has turned into Princess Cleanypants and is now ready for the Penryn Clean Bottom Parade!'. Not sure where the last one came from.

* You sort of have to say this. Actually, it hasn't been too bad - I've had time to play Bioshock again from the beginning, for example and get three hundred pages into the new Neal Stephenson, in which, so far, Nothing Has Happened. I shall stick with it though, ho yuss.


10 comments:

Jayne said...

coconut matting?!? Ouch ouch ouch ouch

james henry said...

Coconut matting, sandpaper, something like that (actually it's very soft, whatever it is).

Further investigation reveals it is in fact 'viscose'. So that clears that up.

laurence timms said...

Give 'em coconut matting, that's what I say. Make sure they grow up tough and strong with a butt like Clint Eastwood's chin.

Fact: I'd never make my kids wear anything I wouldn't wear myself. Damn hard to find Pampers Babydry in size 52, though. Have to go to *special* shops.

Boz said...

Do nappies come in different fits? Can you have low-rise nappies? Worker nappies? Hipster nappies?

This is why I'll never be a father. Well, mostly.

Valerie said...

Viscose is basically made from trees, so I suppose 'coconut matting' isn't all that far off...

Regarding the not-so-dirty nappies, just you wait. This just means that B.K. is saving up a special mess just for you, at a moment you are least expecting it. Keep those baby wipes handy. Maybe better keep your glasses on too.

Imo said...

Just watch out for at one occasion when the contents will escape the nappy and head north up babies back - you have been warned.

Sylvia said...

I was going to say that, Imo, but you beat me to it! That's why those poppered vests are so useful as they keep baby and pooh together!
Then, of course, there's the foot in the pooh scenario (baby's, that is) when the full horror has opened up and baby stomps a foot in it before you can remove the dirty nappy...
Well done for using reusuables - one of the things I wish I'd done, as well as never give my children any of those wretched petits filous yoghurts- but you've got a few months to go before the weaning starts.....

spengler said...

congratulations! Claire and Francesca commented on lovely eyes they know about these things. (altho that always seems a strange thing to say about the product of a psycho-kinetic, usually non-linear coming together.) (I dont mean coming together). Not that I have a view on that. Somebody help me out of this.
Now I can bore you quotes from my 3 year old, a la Exley book you find in gifshop on Exley spinner "The Things They Say Vol 2". Tonight William was pretending to ride his horse as his alter ego is Robin Hood thanks to my brainwashing, which includes the Errol Flynn AND the negelected masterpiece Hammer "Sword of Sherwood Forest" with Cushing and Oliver Reed, yes Oliver Reed!.

Anyway W suggested I give his horse an apple. I kept asking "will he bite" until , exasperated, W said "of course he will bite!".

Marsha Klein said...

Reusable nappies are fab - and when Blue Kitten is wearing big girls' pants (not related to big girl's blouses), you can use the nappies for washing the car, cleaning shoes, wiping the floor etc. In your face Pampers Baby Dry!

Fat Roland said...

I would actually want to go to a Penryn Clean Bottom Parade, even if it's just for the novelty.