Friday, July 02, 2010

Friday Night chat show surely beckons

Because I am never afraid to tread in the footsteps of those just slightly ahead of me on the career curve, I have taken Boz's advice and enlisted the Blue Kitten (age: 22 months) to embark upon a Offspring vs Parent interview challenge, a la Moffat vs Moffat. I carefully wrote out a quick ten-page fact sheet for BK, including interesting quotes, career highs (not all Bob The Builder based) and some prompt questions, what I'd take out of a burning house sort of thing (rpg books, lego, family, obviously, if there was time). LET THE INTERVIEW BEGIN!

BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's a banana.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's a plastic cow.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's me, your dad.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's a shoe.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's your mum.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's your mum again.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's a Spot book.
BK: WAZZAT?
ME: It's the cat.

Long and somewhat thoughtful pause. I quickly take the opportunity to run through some of the difficult and life-changes decisions I have had to make for my career (basically saying 'yes' whenever someone asked if I felt like writing something for money). Finally:

BK: NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!
ME: (wearily) It's a pooble.
BK: Yes.

7 comments:

karendawe said...

Lovely. Such a beautiful little BK. And an excellent interview technique reminiscent of Paxman. Cannot WAIT until Frank can say 'WAZZAT?'.

james henry said...

I have learned that once it starts, you will probably hear it quite a lot.

patroclus said...

Like Paxman, the Blue Kitten never bothers to wait for or listen to the answer. A career on Newsnight surely beckons.

karendawe said...

Sounds like BK has all the requisite qualifications PLUS a rocking little haircut. Paxman should be worried.

Tim Footman said...

Of course, the turning point in the Frost/Nixon interviews came when David Frost done a big stinky pooble during Nixon's attempt to justify the bombing of Cambodia.

Boz said...

Amazing!

Although when you are having to field questions from Paxman and the like and I am your personal publicity assistant, you will have been FULLY BRIEFED before any interview took place, so you were up to speed on our campaign's key messages and had rehearsed some of those "more tricksy" questions and DON'T THINK I WON'T MARCH YOU OUT OF THERE if BK starts talking about those delicate areas we agreed beforehand were best avoided or else the interview might actually not happen and oh I'm taking this a little seriously now.

patroclus said...

Update: BK has now taken to shouting WAZZATABOUT?, which suggests that a career in crap stand-up comedy is now beckoning instead.