PROD: Congratulations on getting married, by the way.
ME: Aw, thanks.
PROD: Of course, this means we can't promote you as young and hip any more.
Short pause.
ME: Wait, what?
PROD: We can't promote you as young and hip any more.
ME: There was a point where you were promoting me as young and hip?
PROD: We thought we could get away with it.You're not up in London very much.
ME: Dammit, I could have done an iPhone advert or something. Or been on a panel show.
PROD: Sorry, should have said, young and hip for a writer.
Another pause.
ME: Hey, just before the wedding, the registrar asked me my age? And I thought I was thirty six, about to turn thirty seven, but then it turned out I'm actually thirty five, about to turn thirty six! Is that any good?
PROD: No.
18 comments:
Wait, you can't be young, hip and married? Better shave my sideburns.
Not to worry. You can write a comedy loosely based on your home life and make a ton of money the way Ray Romano did with Everyone Loves Raymond...except, he was also the lead actor. Okay, so maybe not quite as much money, but still. That does show you can be a big success without being young and hip. Because that character was about as far away from hip as you can get.
And you should try this soon, while blue kitten is too young to understand that Daddy is exploiting her for profit. By 5 or 6, she may be demanding a cut.
You should also discuss various options with and, um, obtain approval from the missus before proceeding.
Oli: this is why Peaches Geldof got divorced, apparently.
Rebecca: I might write a book about Blue Kitten's TERRIBLE BATTLE WITH MASHED SWEET POTATO ADDICTION. It gets in her hair and down the sides of the high chair and everything.
Be sure to include photos. Color photos.
It's an addiction I can sympathize with, because sweet potatoes happen to be a particular favorite of mine, as well. Had some just yesterday, in fact. Fortunately, I manage to keep from wearing any of it...but who's to say when that might change.
Produc er is showing their age. No one says 'hip' anymore. Unless it's followed by something like 'replacement'. Like trendy. No one says trendy.
'tis true, no one says trendy anymore. Trending yes, trendy no. Get thee to twitter.
'On-trend'? What about 'froody'? Does anyone say 'froody' any more?
Only you...
You were young and hip? Why wasn't I informed?
This is why I'm annoyed - if only they'd told me at the time, I could have let everyone know.
A career as a middle aged grumpy writer awaits!
Would you like to borrow some of my excess hipness?
Further to my last comment, I have undertaken some research among 'young people' and discovered that yes, they do in fact use 'trendy'. I was wrong.
NEVER admit to being wrong! It's the beginning of a slippery slope...
Oh, crap. I've been married since I was bloody twenty five, turns out I coulda had eleven more years... I wasted my youth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS. How's the baby thing working out for you? I can tell you girl babies are shoutier and more work than boy babies BUT boy babies have a tendency to pee over your shoulder during nappy changes... Swings & roundabouts.
Baby thing working very well, thanks. BK is indeed very noisy (she's recently started roaring a lot, like a very small, very happy lion), but sleeps very soundly at nights, which makes it all much easier.
I sometimes get to take her into town on my own, in the pushchair, where we sit wistfully in coffee shops and people tell me I've been very brave to give up the day job.
Not yet got round to telling them I do have a day job, but it doesn't really start until elevenish, and a lot of consists of sitting in coffee shops, sort of vaguely thinking about things.
Patroclus is also a brilliant mum, but then I knew she would be.
You're so young, nowsie and hipping, it's untrue.
People always think I'm younger than I am. I got 30th birthday cards well after I'd left 30 behind. So I've just bought a t-shirt with a big number 36 on the front for my next birthday. That should do it.
It's not hip to be young and hip any more. Get with the demographic trends. Mind you, you've got no chance of trying to be a baby boomer, where the action really is.
Delighted that BK likes sweet potato. Trevor the skink is a big fan too. The best foods are the green ones - avocado, broccoli, spinach - so you can relive The Exorcist.
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