Patroclus and I decide to take Blue Kitten for her very first swim, at a nearby hotel pool. I emerge from the changing rooms to find P and BK already splashing happily in the separate kids' mini-pool bit.
I remember something my mum told me, which is that in order to get babies used to the water, you have to very quickly dunk them under the surface, which isn't as bad as it seems, because babies know to naturally hold their breath, and the whole thing is over in half a second, and then they're used to water and don't mind being splashed a bit.
ME: (sternly) Right, I'm going to dunk her.
P: (mildly) Actually, she seems quite hap-
I take BK and bob her up and down in the water a couple of times, and on the count of three, dunk her very quickly below the surface of the water, then bring her back up to the surface again.
BK looks terribly upset for a moment, then a look of blissful calm spreads across her face.
ME: You see! She's absolutely fine.
At which point we both realise a certain amount of stuff has appeared in the water that wasn't there before.
P: Eurgh.
ME: I don't think that swim nappy's quite as close-fitting as it ought to be.
P takes BK back into the changing room, while I guiltily inform the lady on the reception desk bit that the water might need a bit of a clean.
While I do lengths in the main pool, a young lad later emerges from the cleaning cupboard with a big syringe device, which which he dutifully sucks out all the stuff, then tips in some bleach-type liquid and puts a warning sign up.
As I get near to him, I pull another guilty face.
ME: I'm afraid that was technically my fault.
He gives me a rather odd look.
8 comments:
We had a similarly traumatic experience when we took our baby daughter for her first official "dunk". I admire your candour!
yeah, it occurs to me I might have to delete these posts later, in case I end up causing some traumatic level of embarrassment in her teens. Or I could go the other way and get a book deal out of it.
A relative of mine ran out of swim nappies for his toddler at the end of the holidays. He and his wife decided to see what would happen if they just snapped a regular nappy on and popped her into the pool.
Apparently it's amazing how much these things expand.
I'm intrigued. What exactly is the wording on that warning sign?
It said: 'Lok oT!! POOOOOOO!'
It's your duty as a parent to cause traumatic level of embarrassment in her teens.
...isn't it? Have my folks been fibbing to me again??
It was you really wasn't it? Poor BK, having all your hideous mishaps blamed on her.
At least it wasn't a jaccuzi. They cause havoc to a poo.
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