Monday, January 19, 2009

You're allowed to do one of these a year, I've checked.

I thought I might turn my hand to answering some of the many questions I get asked every day. Not questions about scriptwriting or anything, just the weird stuff people put into Google that accidentally brings them here. These are all genuine Googles that have somehow brought the enquiree to my blog.

"Is there another word for 'euphemism'?"


What does it mean when banter is insulting?"

It means the tide of the conversation has turned, not necessarily to your advantage. Are you in a pub? Think about breaking off a chairleg which which to defend yourself.

"Are Ricky Gervais and James Corden friends?"

I don't know. Although I do occasionally see Mr. Gervais wandering down Newman Street, so next time, I'll stop him and ask. I suspect on the whole, though, not.

"Setting up a commune?"


[deleted, but involves teens and certain acts]

Hmm, why do all the really pervy ones come from Dubai?

"How book table at Fat Duck?"

Only number one commenter cello know how do this.

how pronounce david mamet"

It's "david" and then "mamet". Hope that helps.

"what's going on in Home and Away?"

No-one knows.

"why is my cat shrieking?"

Because of your constant bloody mispronunciation of "David Mamet".

"wind up butterfly"

Call it a moth.


I can't believe I don't know the answer to this. I am ASHAMED.


Eleanor said...

Croosbow repairs? Here obviously.

Fat Roland said...

I thought I would help you with your next post in a year's time by googling 'james henry smells of poo' then clicking through to your blog.

Glad to be of assistance.

Kevin said...


I had someone stumble on my blog the other day with: Captain Kirk and Mr. Cock. That tickled me.

Vicus Scurra said...

I am jealous. I only get people looking for "pendulous tits", "tori amos naked" and other such filth.
I suppose I shall have to start writing about more interesting stuff.

Jayne said...

It's your own fault for encouraging them...

cello said...

re getting into the Fat Duck, I have managed it three times (so far). All I can advise is phenomenal persistence driven by phenomenal greed. Can also confirm that the possible inclusion of minor celeb within the party has no discernible effect, positive or negative. Is it worth it? Most definitely.

Oli said...

My own over-reliance on the F-word means I get all sort of perverse search terms leading people to my blog. They must be terribly disappointed. They range from the amusing to the actually properly vile.

james henry said...

I bet they were from Dubai.

Jocelyn Lavin said...

See, I was going to go to bed early tonight because I'm tired and my feet have been wet all day and this seems a good solution, but this post made me laugh out loud TWICE (I read it again by accident) and now I feel fully awake as a result. Damn you!

(it was the shrieking cat that set me off)

Henry Dandelion said...

I think you'll find it's "Mamet"