Matt's updated the Toy-Fu site, which now has the entire epic saga. And my GOD it's epic. Hurrah for Matt.
BT are now arguing over which of their departments is responsible for mending the cock-up created by their earlier bunch of engineers, with the end result of me and Patch living in an eerie internet-less world (apart from the end of the day when we have to check in with internet cafes ooh got to go.
UPDATE: OMG we totally have the internet back. A very serious man came round in a van and some fiddly tools, and sorted it out for the price of only two cups of tea.