Friday, July 13, 2007

Yay!

Arch-parodist Caroline Phillips, of 'My Tornado Hell' fame is is back!

Anyone who thought her article did an astonishing job of taking a horrible situation (having a tornado smash up your house) and wringing any chance of sympathy from it by describing it in terms an interior design magazine/crawly-arse gossip column would blush at, was suffering from 'trauma envy', apparently.

Maybe we should all leave this before she gets a book deal out of it. Still, I'm glad Happy the cat came back.

UPDATE: right, I wasn't going to get into this again but "there’s something new and positive — a whirlwind of creativity that will linger: three babies have been born to my neighbours since then."

That's not "a whirlwind of creativity", that's just "fucking", isn't it? Always good to have a new term for it though.


20 comments:

patroclus said...

>>My muscles screamed like elastic bands stretched to their outer limits. Christmas photographs show my face looking as grey as my sweater.<<

I *love* Caroline Phillips.

Sylvia said...

fucking? what's that? I can't remember......

Salvadore Vincent said...

That's a great new chat-up line:

"'Ello darlin'! Fancy a whirlwind of creativity?"

james henry said...

*slaps face*

patroclus said...

"No thanks - I've got the specialist painters in."

james henry said...

This blog is going rapidly downhill.

Annie Rhiannon said...

Oh man, this is too good.

Imo said...

Just think James you are one of those 'sick bloggers' you must be feeling so proud. And we've all got Envy Trauma - hahahahaha. Dies laughing!

Boz said...

OMG. OMG. OMG.

I just do not know where to start. I am in raptures.

"Most of the fallen fences have been re placed; but many haven’t, because there’s a national shortage of wooden panels — with most being exported to China.

Boz properly hearts Caroline Phillips.

violetforthemoment said...

"Well, you bloggers, I have to report that I feel delightfully healthy and chipper now."

Good for you. Seriously, I mean that. But I still think your article's rubbish. Does that mean I've just got 'envy' rather than 'trauma envy' or perhaps that we've just got very different perspectives on the world and the importance of interior design? And three babies have been born to your neighbours since the tornado in December last year? Do the sums, they were probably pregnant before then.

Oh shit, I've spent so long reading the article and the comments and chortling to myself that I've left dye on my hair about 15 minutes too long. My scalp's starting to tingle. It's probably INSTANT KARMA because of all my ENVY.

Anonymous said...

Yes "envy" ... I knew I felt something towards her and I'm so relieved she's finally pointed out what it was!

Skeadugenga said...

I nominate Caroline to be parachuted into a war zone so that she can give us all the benefit of her trauma reporting from the front line.

"Next time a cat hides, I'm going too". In my house this would involve her being found under the bed 5-10 times a day - I wouldn't have to hoover!

Jayne said...

man, it's been a long time since I had a good whirlwind of creativity...

Imo said...

"Dogs and children wander with careless abandon"

Oh does she actually mean "children are enjoying carefree days in their fenceless back gardens" Their parents have probably told them "do not go over the line where the fence panel is meant to be upon pain of death" so are actually where they're meant to be all the time and not wandering in carelss abandon at all.

I think the women is lying to us!

kaiki said...

is she real ? i mean, is she actually real ?
i am aghast.

Anonymous said...

"There's only one hotel in London - Claridges" ?!?!

Wh...th....fu....Aaaargh!!

kaiki said...

Caroline Phillips can go whirlwind of creativity herself.

wyndham said...

She does, however, use the archest sentence ever invented - "I think not." - so I'm willing to cut her some slack. Caroline Phillips - pretentious, self-absorbed, obsessed with shallow materialism, living in a LivingEtc fairytaleland?

I think not.

There, you see.

Jen said...

I do properly think it a shame that she's so delightfully oblivious to the fact that she is what we Glaswegians call "a pure fanny."

And what? Nothing of the Christmas Clementines?

Or Nectarines...Tangerines...or Wolverines or whatever the hell they were...

rivergirlie said...

she can't be for real. she just can't