Saturday, July 07, 2007

Things that are Random, but (mostly) Good.

My mate Alex's children's book The Talent Thief is out in paperback this week - with a foxy new red cover, although amazon doesn't seem to have it up yet. Aha, it's up now.

Alex has also sold the film rights, we have discussed this, and I am not jealous, it's fine. The book's cracking, all Thirtiesish with old racing cars and strange monsters and stuff. Alex and I are currently on a dare to buy the lego Millennium Falcon (about three hundred and fifty quid). I think he will crack first.

What else? Er...... this is the fantastic 'Audition' sketch, starring David Cross (Arrested Development) from the show, er, 'Mr Show', which I've only ever seen on YouTube.

Can't remember where I saw if first though, apologies.



More random things:

An illustrated timeline of what would happen to New York if all the people in the world disappeared overnight. Apparently the subways would fill with water in two days, brrrr. Or alternatively, 'sploosh'.

In other post-apocalyptic news I have read Cormac McCarthy's new book 'The Road'. It was very very dull and although my copy was half-price from Waterstone's I think it's because it doesn't have any commas in they just seem to have dropped out onto the floor and people probably think they spell out a message although it would take ages to read.

Pursuant to my trying to lure Patroclus into the strange world of pen and paper RPGs (I'm not one of those people who thinks their partners have to be into all the same cultural baggage as them, honestly, it's just that it's my central frame of reference for most things, so I think it would aid communication considerably), I had another go:

ME: So there wouldn't be any humans in this game at all, all the races are descended from humans stuck in this huge underground-

PATCH: Are there elves? These things always have to have elves in.

ME: No, I want to get away from all the sub-Tolkien stuff.

Quite a long pause.

ME: Although there are dark elves in it.

PATCH: So what's the difference between them and normal elves then?

ME: Well-

PATCH: Do you have to wash them separately?

ME: ...


Secretly, I was very proud indeed.

9 comments:

Imo said...

Well obviously New York would disappear first. How do we know? Just look at every single disaster movie ever made! Obviously the Statue of Liberty's ice cream would be the only thing left to see. Likewise the only survivors will be those stuck on a remote Scottish Island whilst rapidly melting icebergs rush past on their way to what's left of Wales (gives evil laugh).

On the question of how to wash elves, I would suggest a cool wash followed by drying on the line whilst hanging by their ears.

I've never thought of suggesting RPG's with Mr Imo - he might get totally the wrong idea!

Jayne said...

you could also give them a short tumble dry if you want to a. get rid of the creases and b. destroy the planet.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the plug, me old writerly colleague. There's no need for jealousy coz we're both equally brilliant (and at the same time engimatically humble, which is nice)

I've no idea what you're talking about re this so-called 'Lego Millenium Falcon'. But I guess if you get it I suppose I can sort of help you build it. (You know you'd better order it soon, they're bound to run out, or shall I?)

Alex (anonymous)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you said that about Cormac McCarthy - i read 'All the Pretty Horses' recently and thought it was a pile of pants - totally dull, and the punctuation thing drove me crazy. I couldn't understand why he has all these rave reviews, and thought maybe I was just being dumb. Pleased to have a partner in Cormac Non-Appreciation!

Anna

kaiki said...

'Lego Millenium Falcon'- can i have one too please ? i have a bobba fett keyring who could live there.

james henry said...

PP is already trying to get his Darth Vader keyring on there, I am clearly going to have to instigate some kind of security system.

Not that I'm going to get it, it's three hundred and fifty quid for feck's sake.

Anonymous: I was wondering if he (McCarthy) writes in that style all the time - am I to take it this is the case then?

I should really go and read A Canticle for Leibowitz, like I've been meaning to for about five years now. Or read Earth Abides again.

Hmm, I think I feel a post-apocalypse SF thread coming on. And Margaret Atwood can bugger off out of it, frankly.

Annie Rhiannon said...

"Do you have to wash them separately?"

Lollerskates. And that is beyond cute that you call her "Patch".

Anonymous said...

Yep, seems to be the case - the man is a stranger to half the keys on his keyboard. He must've gotten hell from his English teachers...


i hope so anyway. grr.

cello said...

There's something very comforting about the idea of ordering the world by laundry instructions.

But then I guess any suggestion that the world is capable of being ordered by anything is just a cosy myth.