I did another bit for Leila's fashion PDF, now retitled All The Rage. I'm on page 11, where I represent all men in the world. And may God have mercy on our souls.
An email from Ori reads:
Everyone you must call to save my mate Miranda Hart in FAME ACADEMY. She is the only one without a huge fan base but she's still hanging on in there - she beat Roland Rivoron in the vote off this week. Get your friends at work to call in too. Be creative and send out emails.
To save Miranda, call 09011 32 30 05 or text MIRANDA to 84466
Calls cost 50p with BT. Texts cost 50p + std network fee. At least 34p per vote goes to Comic Relief.
She's totally hilarious and completely brave to be doing the show in the first place. Before she got famous she worked for comic relief so its amazing for her to be doing this. Save her from the circle of fear on Wednesday and do something good for Comic Relief at the same time. Pick up the phone now at work and call for her. Lines are open.
Forward this email on and get people you know voting for her.
I can also vouch for the loveliness and perfect moral standing of Miranda Hart (she played Teal in Hyperspace, and was in Smack the Pony and has been a shining light of Genuine Funny in things that perhaps weren't so funny themselves). Obviously I won't be watching anything called Fame Academy myself because I would rather STICK RUSTY FUCKING NEEDLES IN MY EYES, but that shouldn't stop people voting for her.
I have a foolproof system with all that Comic Relief shit: every year I bypass the whole thing by carefully selecting a couple of specific charities, AND NOT GIVING THEM ANY MONEY EITHER. Hahahhahaha, might delete this bit later.
UPDATE: here are some seconds of Miranda in a thing that I don't know about. Which is wonky at the start. But still good.
Loving the interview.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know Miranda Hart was in Fame Academy as I've been AVOIDING IT LIKE IT WERE A BUBONIC PLAGUE-RIDDEN PAEDOPHILE.
That is, Fame Academy, not Miranda Hart. She's quite good...at things. I can't really comment on her singing ability as, well...as above.
We might watch some naff telly in our house, but even we don't stoop to Fame Academy.
ReplyDeleteBut if I'd known Miranda Hart was in there I'd have been glued. She is totally brilliant. She single-handedly rescued the 2nd series of Nighty Night from being utter shite to being just not very good.
I guess she is destined to take her place alongside all those other large, funny women that the British public seem to love so much: Hattie Jacques, Pam Ferris, Jo Brand, Dawn French. Are they loveable and funny because they are fat, do you think, or despite it?
Is something happening along the same lines as our love of camp men; a sort of eunuchisation and desexualisation?
Christ.
ReplyDeleteLoved Miranda singing Crazy, Crazy Nights on Saturday. Genius. As was Tara P-T's appearance with eyes on stalks, sweating like a rapist, and rambling to the nth degree. Why? Who can guess?
ReplyDeleteI'm all for supporting the lovely Miranda, but also just wanted to take issue as politely and respectfully as possible with Cello - are you implying that fleshy women are the equivalent of eunuchs? I'd rather have flesh than bones every time...fat does not equal desexualised...utterly the opposite in my experience. Sorry to be argumentative on your blog James - you can always delete me...
ReplyDeleteSorry - back again - really feel free to delete me - I'm only a lurker normally and I don't mean to go on - but I thought this might be pertinent - don't know how to hyperlink in comments - sorry - http://lustbites.blogspot.com/2007/03/sexy-v-beautiful.html
ReplyDeleteI don't think it would be ungentlemanly at this point to say that I have met Cello in person on many occasions, and she is 1) not skinny and 2) a galloping saucepot of ravishableness.
ReplyDeleteThis all links in to my bit on All the Rage by the way, clearly I Know Where The Issues Are.
OK - very funny interview but James..."lalalalalala" is a cop out! Then again John Cusack has a very good look. I guess you can't have ALL the answers. Sorry for being sensitive before - thanks for making me feel better about Cello - I always thought she was lovely before - maybe that's why her comment made me comment. Back I go to the land of lurk...
ReplyDeleteI am a veritable master of the cop out, I'm afraid, mainly because I don't have an opinion on anything that doesn't change wildly from one day to the next.
ReplyDeleteThere's almost infinite room for debate in the comments threat, kristie so feel free to delurk whenever you fancy it.
Thanks for being so welcoming and I will do. I'm really doing a terrible job of actually doing any work that I get paid for this morning though - so maybe not on a Monday morning! I blame Cello for getting me going and being all controversial...
ReplyDeleteDelurking to join in here, rather than continue writing a fairly uninspiring report..
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether Cello is right, so I have been trying to think of skinny funny loveables, but I could only think of Julie Walters who seems to be in the national treasure category. Possibly Caroline Aherne, Catherine Tate have the potential though?
I'm not joining the debate. Just dropped by to say how much I loved the article. What a funny man you are. Well, I knew that already being a GW groupie!Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteCan i just say Miranda is funny and i don't think its because she's big - i have a suspicion its because she is actually funny. Thanks for the plug James, she is genuine in her reason for doing it and not out for 'fame' and was dreading people would think that - she used to work for years in the comic relief offices and its something she believes in. Usually its self serving annoying people but she is genuine. I hope she is or i will look a fool when 'how to lose weight by not eatiing with miranda hart' comes out on dvd
ReplyDeleteOn the topic of delurking: Hello!
ReplyDeleteOn quite an alarming but rather off-topic matter: I have just watched Green Wing dubbed in German. Now I am in serious need of an anaesthetist or "Haitian".
They have destroyed it most thoroughly.
Noejd (..., hoping the writers weren't asked. Were you?)
Blimey. Sorry to have sparked a debate and made Kirstie de-lurk.
ReplyDeleteI foolishly made an assumption that many people reading here would know I look like I eat people like Miranda Hart for breakfast. I make no judgements whatsoever on the attractiveness of people because of their size. I have been married to the same man for over 30 years with few complaints. Though that might be because of the fab roast potatoes.
In fact I think we should let everyone be whatever size they want to be, including size 0 - though a size 16 Jane Austen heroine would be nice just once in a while.
And, of course, Miranda Hart is funny because she is extremely talented. It was the funniness plus loveableness that I was getting at. I think. To be honest I'm not totally sure what I was getting at now (other than to say Miranda Hart is briliant - vote now), but hey, it made Kirstie de-lurk which is good. And maybe now that you know I am fat and not a body fascist you can go back to thinking better of me Kirstie. And thanks for sticking up for us round people.
I wholeheartedly agree.
ReplyDeleteI do think that from a male perspective and on a media level what you said was right; it's like the whole age thing; men can be sexy til what, their seventies, whereas we ladies are subjected to the whole 'sexy, sexy, siren, hag.' malarkey; was that what you were getting at?
Though I'm glad there's now the same stigma for the size zero furore... is that sadist?
James has met me once, as has cello; so I'm speaking from 'the larger teen' perspective - the perspective that has had to fight with the image obsession for 99% of her life.
I'm not bitter.
Much.
What was my point again?
I am going to bypass the whole size argument in favour of a far more important issue:
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only one who ever saw the man 'dressed like a Fifties nerd with a brass wire pyramid on his head'! He gets on the tube at my stop, and one day he sat next to me, and I was terrified that it was catching, and I would sprout a dodecahedron. I am so, so happy that I didn't imagine him. Unless, of course, there's more than one, which seems somewhat unlikely.
Oh, and I'm jumping on the delurking bandwagon. But only to talk about amusing headgear.
Stokely, x
I liked Miranda, along with all the comdedians, in Fame Academy on Saturday. I always feel most strongly that a comedian should win this instead of some actor from East Enders crooning into his microphone. Ade Edmondson was robbed two years ago, robbed!
ReplyDeleteI now feel slightly behind the times as I've never heard of Daisy Duke's cut-off's. However, despite you making me feel this way, I did enjoyed your fashion article James. Just think this could be your new career path to fall back on if the comedy writing ever fails. I do think you need a new publicity photo though, preferably in muted colours but with a colourful lining.
I do to. I'll see if that Rankin bloke's available.
ReplyDeleteI really want to know what's going on with that pyramid-hat bloke now. Or perhaps I don't.
James, loved your piece - how does it work? do you get comissioned or can people submit pieces? I think anarticle on shopping with teenagers would be worth it for the comedy value.
ReplyDeleteAs for the raging debate,I am living in a household where one child is wasting away, and one could empty Greg's bakery in one sitting. And the other one is lecturing me on what a Bad Mother I am to let this happen and what am I going to do about it. Hide away with a packet of biscuits, that's the most sensible thing.
I went to see my nutritionist yesterday to ask her why if I was eating so healthily I was still 2 stone overweight. Why can't she just be honest and say "according to this food diary you've shown me you consume enough in one day to feed your whole street. Get it now?"
And I did lose weight once. My husband still ignored me. So let that be a lesson to us all.....
Will certainly vote for Miranda, especially since Ori said so!
Fame Academy (like ALL reality shows) is insufferable nonsence. I will not be watching nor voting - I, afterall, have a life.
ReplyDeleteI realise the charitable aspect of this but if Wogan can get paid to do Children In Need (sounds very dodgy written like that) then I don't have to give to a charity via a premium rate phone line.
Thankyou for letting me have my rant.
there was something about your piece in that fashion mag that really made me smile - where VP would buy the same clothes as yours for RH. Build-wise, the two of you are not too dissimilar, but you are far younger, so perhaps she was trying to make him look younger! I tried that with my husband, trying to model him on a certain fraise blond - but the children vetoed the zip up cardigans and he refuses to grow his hair longer.........says he doesn't like how it curls up at the back.....
ReplyDeleteSylvia, please get in touch with me via the email address on the last page of All The Rage - I'd love to have a piece about shopping with teens in my mag! I won't put my email here for fear of spambots.
ReplyDeleteAnyone can submit ideas... in fact it would make my life easier if they did.
Ace.
Sorry to use your blog for soliciting, James.