Monday, September 07, 2009

INT: CORRIDOR

At a time of ever-decreasing budgets in television production, it's perhaps useful to remember that perfectly good television can be made consisting just of people shouting in corridors.

Don't believe me? Here are the classic television drama genres reduced to their base constituents.


DRAMA: people shouting in corridors.
COMEDY: people falling over in corridors.
COMEDY/DRAMA: people shouting, then falling over in corridors.
GRITTY DRAMA: ugly people shouting in corridors.
POLITICAL THRILLER: people shouting whilst walking quickly down corridors.
SCIENCE FICTION: people shouting at robots in corridors.
MYSTERY: Someone is shouting in a corridor. But who?
PERIOD DRAMA: people in wigs shouting 'Sirrah!' in wood-pannelled corridors.
SOAP: teenagers shouting in corridors, pause at end - TO BE CONTINUED.
SINGLE CAMERA COMEDY: cameraman has to leap back as person falls over in corridor.
STUDIO AUDIENCE COMEDY: fake laughter as people pretend to find it amusing that person is falling over in corridor for third time in row.
'EDGY' COMEDY: blacked-up people shouting 'rape', then falling over in corridor.
PORNOGRAPHY: people shouting sexily in corridors.
JAPANESE HENTAI ANIMATION: woman has unfortunate encounter with tentacle in corridor.
That's enough corridors.

12 comments:

Salvadore Vincent said...

Ai No Corrida?

james henry said...

I had to look that up, and unnacountably, am still none the wiser.

Ek said...

The future of corridor television... well I suppose C4 would need to use ideas like this to fill the void left by Big Brother. It certainly can't be any worse, right?

james henry said...

*shudders*

Anonymous said...

Dead Set seemed to be mostly filmed in corridors. That worked out ok.

Valerie said...

{laugh}

Quite a lot of Green Wing seemed to take place in corridors, now I come to think of it. Perhaps this is your area of specialization...

On another topic, my word verification for this comment is 'privvy'. Hm.

james henry said...

Dead Set was blimmin' brilliant, as were West Wing and Battlestar Galactica, two more shows firmly located in corridor world. You can do a lot with a good corridor.

Vicus Scurra said...

Sports Drama. Geoffrey Boycott talking (not shouting, that is not gentlemanly) about the "corridor of uncertainty".
Do I win a prize?

Salvadore Vincent said...

Man has penis cut off - in corridor.

sebimeyer said...

Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme made a career out of this. :)

Imo said...

And of course there are curvy corridors as well for extra suspense, i.e. Star Trek, Star Wars, Blakes Seven and Doctor Who (probably).

Newf said...

"STUDIO AUDIENCE COMEDY: fake laughter as [...]"

^ Graham Linehan can and will have you shot for that. Or he might get so angry that he'll let a hiccup through on the IT Crowd laughter track.