Thursday, June 28, 2007

Tony Blair becoming a Catholic then.

I don't usually do politics and/or religion here, but something about this whole thing has slightly freaked me out.

I never had much contact with Catholics, growing up in the North (Presbyterians) then moving to Cornwall when I was eight (Methodists). There weren't exactly dreaming spires at Derby Poly either, their Christian Union being made of one bloke who kept apologising, and although Canterbury has some religious connotations a) I'm fairly sure they're not Catholic, and b) I mostly hung out with jewite homosexualists anyway.

So weirdly, I never even met any Catholics until I started working in television, and they were definitely lapsed, and didn't want to talk about it. Thus my knowledge of Catholicism is, at best, a tad sketchy.

So, what I want to know then:

1. Does Tony Blair hate gays and jews now? (this will help him in his new job I suppose)

2. Is he against contraception?

3. If the answer to 1) and 2) are 'no', does he in some way believe that the rituals and ceremonies of catholicism have actual effects (like casting 'Protect From Evil' in D&D) that your standard/Anglican church doesn't?

If the answer to this is 'no' also, then:

4. Does he just like candles?

UPDATE: or, I suppose, 5. Did Cherie make him do it? She's Liverpudlian, isn't she, they're terribly sentimental.*

UPDATE 2: Just so other religions don't feel left out, an excellent Even Stephen

* Unless Carla Lane lied to me, which is looking increasingly possible.


Skeadugenga said...

Its all about performance and spin isn't it. Roman Catholics have the biggest, showiest frocks and the tallest hats. And the Pope. Tony loves all that sort of thing.

Good Dog said...

Isn't it because he can be forgiven all his sins?

About 13,972,588,103,438 Hail Marys should do it.

Although before he gets to the sixth hopefully someone will kick him to death.

9/10ths Full of Penguins said...

I love that Even Stephen video. It makes me laugh every time.
"Hmmm, maybe the Jew is right..."

It seem to me his Blairness likes attaching himself parasite-like to powerful people/institutions. Now Bush has no further use for him, he's turned to the most powerful Christian denomination instead.

Or maybe he's just doing what Cherie says..

Or possibly he has had a genuine spiritual experience..


Marsha Klein said...

I think it's probably the pomp and ceremony that attract him - now he can be visibly holier-than-thou.

But, speaking as a girl, one should never underestimate the attraction of candles. Or incense.

james henry said...

Catholicism = the new 'nice hot bath'?

Marsha Klein said...

"Makes everything better in this life AND the next one"!

Me said...

(Delurking due to being sort of Liverpudlian and having a Catholic upbringing.)

1. Regarding gays, Very Probably. Many Catholics have this hyper-sensitive conservative view on EVERYTHING. Regarding Jews, no. I go to a Catholic faith school (the twist being I don't believe in God) and Judaism and Islam are the only two other religions we're taught about.

2. He does have a lot of kids...

3. Most Catholics don't really think about how other people pray. It's just how they're brought up, so it's what they do. But then we are talking about Tony Blair.

4. Candles rule.

5. Are we?

james henry said...

Don't pretend you're not, I've seen Bread.

Thanks Me.

In fact, these are all really interesting comments, thanks! I'm not being disengenuous about Catholicism, I genuinely don't know anything about it. Yet a lot of politicians and showbiz types seem to be defecting of late, so I'm trying to work out why.

And I don't think TB has anything against my mate PP (who represents both big jews and enormous whoopsies). And he's quite clued-up on Africa and that, so must be quite up to date on the benefits of contraception.

It's looking like the candles, isn't it?

Annie Rhiannon said...

His mother is from Donegal and his grandfather was an Orangeman.

I remember Alastair Campbell interrupting an interview with him once when he was asked about his faith, saying "We don't do God".

Oli said...

Nope, if it was candles he could of gone in for High Anglicism - basically Catholicism without the pope or the transfiguration.

I'm going for the D&D thing, because I'm a geek. And he's a +1 bastard.

james henry said...

Well this what worries me - whatever the difference is between High Anglicanism and Catholicism, it seems to have swung him.

But not the way a few people would have liked.

Imo said...

I think he's got a secret desire to go to Confession - a heck of a lot!!!! Something the Church of England does'nt go in for.

Paul Pennyfeather said...

PP has a crush on Ed Milliband at the moment and would like to hold something against him.

End of big gay whoopsie jew thread

Jen said...

I just don't 'get' religion. I know next to nothing about even my own 'faith', Christian Protestantism (or whatever) forced upon me by my parents with a Christening in '88. (both equally non-religious, but it's the 'thing to do' apparently.)

Because I live in what is probably the next best thing to Ireland's post-peace process (nine times out of ten without the guns) Scotland, kids are christened one way or the other to make sure 'the other side' know what's what.

To be honest, Dara O'Briain is right. On all accounts.

Paul Pennyfeather said...

To clear up any confusion caused by James' awful grammar. I, PP, know fuck all about Africa, however the nice Mr Tony does know stuff about the dark continent.
My knowledge of the catholics is confined to a twice yearly reading of Brideshead Revisited (but that's mostly for the gayness) but they seem very nice, if very bad at sex - if you don't believe me read the sex scene between Charles and Julia on the boat, it is the worst thing Waugh ever wrote

kaiki said...

this post reminded me of this;
Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
- isn't there something about religion generally which is a bit sinister ? i met a pagan at the weekend, he told me we are all descended from the goddess except him, who was descended from the bowels of the earth. or something. i'd stopped listening to be honest.

Skeadugenga said...

I'm sure the Pope has quite a few residences in warm and sunny Italy that can be loaned out to friends of a similar persuasion. He can probably also pull a few strings with Angela Merkin.

Sylvia said...

There is only one reason why Tony Blair is converting to catholicism is that in about three years time he and Cherie will be applying for a place at the Oratory School for Leo and believe me if those people tell you to jump through fire parents will in order to get their sons in there.

So that's all there is to it.

Speaking as a low church cradle catholic, I think that change from within works better. It'll only take another 1000 years.
In the meantime, at least we'll get first dibs in the queue to heaven....

caskared said...

He wants to be more like Jed Bartlett, then maybe people will like him more. And Cherie was being a pink lady wearing her fushia coat the other day...

Anonymous said...

Belief in fairytale (a) or fairytale (b) - they're still both fairytales.