Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Series 2 puppet opening

Accusations have made, in the previous posts comments thread but one, that no thought was made of putting puppets in Green Wing. In fact I did a 'puppet recap' scene for Series 2, which, bewilderingly, was never used. So I thought I'd put it up here instead.

UPDATE: Actually, now I read them again, it's not that surprising they weren't used.


Puppets of MAC, MARTIN and GUY hanging out of the back of a cardboard ambulance.

But Mac, I don’t want to die!

Don’t worry Martin, I’m sure this will all work out fine!

Oh no! I ‘kissed’ my own mum!


Ambulance teeters a bit then crashes below the level of the booth. An unseen hand flings blue confetti up in the air. Then silence.
Suddenly, ten finger puppet BROWNIES appear over the top of the booth.

(squeaky) Look! Bodies in the water! Come on everyone! Remember the Brownie code.

They disappear, and the limp puppet bodies of MAC PUPPET and GUY PUPPET flop over the top of the booth.

Oh no! Where’s Guy?

We looked everywhere, but we could not see him.*


Mac is not very well. We should take him to a hospital.

We’ll take you!

(feebly) Don’t.... tell....

Don’t tell anyone about this part? All right Mac, I promise.

MAC PUPPET droops limply again. BOYCE puppet pops up.

What’s this, what’s this?

Oh Doctor Boyce! Guy ‘kissed’ his own mum, then drove into the sea, and now he’s gone, and we were rescued by Brownies!

Well don’t worry, Martin, because I’m going to make everything all right now!

NURSE PUPPET pops up, showering BOYCE PUPPET with kisses.

Oh Doctor Boyce, you’re the handsomest doctor in the whole world! Mmmm kissy kissy!

BROWNIES pop up again.

And that’s what happened!

BOYCE stands up and takes a bow. Pull back to see a sign saying ‘Edinburgh Fringe’, and a small group of tourists, all applauding wildly. BOYCE grins, then looks alarmed as a hand reaches out, and NURSE PUPPET hauls him back behind the booth.

Oh and there was a bit about Doctor Mancoo as well:



Carboard car careering wildly out of control.

Brrrrm Brrrrrm! Ah! My brakes!

Car hits a model tree, then paper flames rise up and engulf the car.
Finally a bandaged MANCOO PUPPET rises into view, hooked up to a model IV machine.

Beep... beeep.... beeep....

BOYCE PUPPET appears next to the MANCOO PUPPET

(to audience) So Dr. Mancoo ended up in his own hospital, and no-one ever found out who cut his brakes.

Cut to-
A school assembly full of children.


Kids applaud wildly. BOYCE stands up and takes a bow. One or two teachers start clapping, rather uncertainly. Suddenly the NURSE PUPPET drags BOYCE back into the booth, which starts shaking violently. Teachers start ushering the kids out, rather speedily.

* This was to do with the original plan for Guy, where he washed up back in Switzerland (?), where he went feral and was befriended by a pack of wolves (we spent ages on this). This was then down-graded to living out of a box near the hospital, and then dropped altogether.

Some of the alternative endings are fun, but obviously I won't put them up until the special has gone out (January 4th)


patroclus said...

I'm beginning to think that 'puppet' is the funniest word in the English language.

Puppet. Puppet. Puppet.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes I worry about you James...


Anonymous said...

So when are they showing the Special then? I really hope it's not on one of the 8 days that I'm in Germany, with access to only German TV and BBC. Please no.

James Henry said...

January 4th - DVD available on January 8th.

LMS said...

I need clarification on what sort of puppets - glove or marionette (as recently used by Beck)?

James Henry said...


Rose said...

How exactly does one get washed up back in Switzerland?

James Henry said...

You have to be really determined.

Anonymous said...

"Oh Doctor Boyce, you’re the handsomest doctor in the whole world" -
he really is, you know. and in the nurse's outfit...- phooaaar!

the living with wolves idea is intriguing (sp?). i can see why you spent a lot of time on it.

Valerie Polichar said...

I love it. Though it seems a little Boyce-heavy?

I'm sad that Guy didn't go feral. (Actually maybe he did, come to think of it.) And hey, that would qualify him for dancing with Angela...

I just about peed myself at the Black Dolls puppet bit of Black Books. This would have been great. Ah, the possibilities.

Just the IDEA of a puppet of Sue White staggers the imagination.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Guy living with Wolves could become a spin-off. On second thoughts, maybe not.

Anonymous said...

oh i love it! - you should make it into a dvd extra :)

the scary thing about this whole puppet thing is that my friend charlotte (one of the team secretan girls you met) is in fact making green wing puoppets for our christmas presents - they are going to be like the one's on the black books dvd thing (blck dolls)

we may end up filming your rather random but great idea james if you don;t mind :)

ros x (LCG)

Anonymous said...

Guy could star in 'Gassing with Wolves in which he attempts to teach a pack of wolves the rudiments of anaesthetics.

Spinsterella said...

'ten brownies'

First of all I was picturing the American chocolate cake thing.

THen I was picturing somethig VERY RUDE INDEED.

*then* I twigged.

violet said...

Am very sorry the puppetry was not filmed. I began to wonder towards the end of the second series if Boyce was really some kind of mastermind with magic powers controlling everything behind the scenes. Like if a god took corporeal form and wandered around making 'innocent' comments at crucial junctures based on his/her divine knowledge of all our business, just whenever s/he was at a loose end and wanted to mess with folk. Now I am more convinced of the truth of this. And am prob gonna have freaky dreams about brownie finger puppets, made all the more sinister by Spinsterella's comments.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Marvellous! A Green Wing exclusive type thing. Cheered me up no end. thank you.

Anonymous said...

Mmm... lovely, lovely puppets.

cello said...

There were elements of puppetry in Series 2 I suppose; the ventriloquist's dummy and Sue rotating from strings in the ceiling. And plenty of fingers being inserted into things - I counted at least three of those. I hadn't credited you with those scenes James until now, because you told us that the real filth came from Ori and Fay...

Anonymous said...

*has been staring silently into space since digesting the concept of Feral-Wolf-Man Guy*

Anonymous said...

or, alternatively, you could post the alternative endings now!!

because tat would be lourvely. :)

Anonymous said...

Woo! I just saw the radio times!


Anonymous said...

I just laughed until I cried imagining "Gassing With Wolves". If that's not a spinoff, I shall be very annoyed.

Anonymous said...

that was possibly the oddest thing i have ever read. insanely funny, but completely bizarre...

Anonymous said...

hah i love taht i know quite of a few people who have commented!! ello! Ros ohhh we should so act this out with our puppets, film it, and post it up!!!

Why was you puppet idea not used that would have ruled as like a dream sequence, would be random and i would laugh untill i fill my shoe with piddle!!

James you rule!!! kepp up the great work!!

~ xjessx