Sunday, April 30, 2006

Quick Travel Tip:

If you've booked one of them Apex tickets from London back to Cornwall that means you have to get that exact train and none other, make sure you actually look at the time of your train back rather than assuming you booked it for ten thirtyish. Otherwise, you might get out of bed at eight thirty, and then discover that your train departs at... eight thirty.

This will lead to a sudden realization that you'll have to buy another ticket from London to Cornwall for seventy-odd quid, which will in turn lead to you jumping up and down shouting 'fucking fuckety fucking fucking fucking fucking fuck.'

Lots of other stuff happened in my London trip, all of which was marvellous, but I'm still recovering from the ticket thing at the moment. The sheer biteyness of the impact on my finances can be assessed from this conversation with my financial advisor about three days previous:

F.A.: So how are the finances then?
ME: Well, I'm currently about three grand overdrawn*.
F.A.: Hmm. Any thoughts about investing in property in Estonia?
ME: Um.. 'argh' and 'no'?

Random conversational snippet overheard in Big Comic Shop I Won't Name:

Female Member of Staff: (back in the storeroom, and presumably not realising the door is open) God it stinks out there. Has anyone got any Customer Spray?

* UPDATE: There's nothing more annoying than someone with what most people would consider to be basically a dream job complaining that it doesn't pay enough. So I should probably say that I'm waiting for some GW money to come through, and a few other odds and sods - basically it's the boring old self-employed/cash flow problem, where you find yourself in a bit of a trough every now and then. According to my whiteboard however, I'm doing fine. Just waiting for reality to catch up with the theory. And for people to actually get back from Bank Holiday Weekends and, you know, pay me...


smoo2 said...

Your 'I came all the way from Cornwall for this' comment now has a sting in the tail, doesn't it?
Ah well, maybe you'll get some more dvd sales money soon or something.
Let's hope you don't have to raise more cash by taking up as a thrupenny upright...

garroo said...

heh. The humour of the work place eh? Can't beat it.

Anonymous said...

how dare you not comment on the gw plot twists that have cause fans around the world to have seizures and heart attacks and whatnot...!!

Anonymous said...

"causeD", of course, "causeD".


Are You Mad? said...

aaah, you see, when I compeltely missed my train from London, I just smiled sweetly at the guards who let me go on a later train anayway... ^_^

Anonymous said...

I would normally sympathise with you on the train thing but I'm too busy wallowing in my own self-pity at the moment. Not letting people get a later train if they miss theirs is just evil though. What if you're delayed through no fault of your own? You could be doing something really important like rescuing small children froma burning building. Or sleeping.

Why Estonia??

Anonymous said...

Scrape together whatever small change you can glean from down the back of the sofa and invest in "Customer Spray" immediately! Regardless of whether it's a deodorant, a repellent or a defensive product containing mace, it's clearly the product that the retail world has been waiting for. It's a potential fricking goldmine, dude.

New and improved? said...

i can see the advertising now.
do your customers smell?
do they pester you in the pursuit of purchasing from your store.
do not fear.
keep the customer smell away
with customer spray.
now available in scent of summer meadow and empty furniture store.

belladona said...

Ah, sign me up for at least two pallet-fulls. I can't wait for it to arrive!
Though in fairness, I probably do get a lot more genuinely smelly tramp 'customers' than said 'large comic shop'. There is one particular couple who have not washed since circa 1975 yet feel the need to converse with me on a regular basis for upwards of half an hour at a time. Though they are lovely compared to man-with-bike. I ought to blog about this really.

Anonymous said...

I spent three and a half years travelling frequently on GWR on apex tickets. I found that the majority of the time they weren't at all interested in which train you were meant to be on.