I went into town to post a thing earlier, and NEARLY BLEW AWAY. The post office was very exciting, everyone thinks they are going to be washed into the sea by the hurricane soon and are sending postcards like 'Dear Aunty Sue, please send us hampers of extraordinary food and a bottle of nice port because we will have no supplies soon because of the hurricane'.
Later I will tell you all about how I went to the DUMBfunded thing which I was worried about because of the reverse stage fright thing, but it was all fine, I decided not to take the reserved seats at the front, but rather stand lurking at the back, which was the correct decision I think because I started sweating profusely the moment the first lot of performers started striding towards the stage, and then by the time they'd actually reached the stage, my legs had buckled and I slid slowly down the wall and sat on the floor instead. I would describe the amount of sympathy given to me by my pregnant partner as 'acceptable'. So I listened to it rather than seeing it, but it all went down jolly well.
Look, she's not that pregnant. I got some seats over at the back on the other side (I don't mean 'dead') for the second half.
Anyway, back to the hurricane, it's all jolly exciting, and I for one am quite glad I don't have a wooden bowl of Christmas clementines, or a limestone floor, or any minute now one would be vomiting across the other, I'll be bound.
*goes back to cradling shotgun, waiting for looters*