I am in the supermarket in Falmouth. Ahead of me, a studenty-type accidentally brushes against the trolly of a man wearing a tracksuit.
STUDENT: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
MAN: Fuck off, queer.
Student walks away and join a queue. Man starts pointing at him.
MAN: (chanting) Queer, queer, queer, queer...
ME: (annoyed) Oy!
MAN: (instantly) Shut up.
ME: You shut up.
MAN: Fuck off.
A brief pause as I try and think of a comeback. The supermarket is tensed in expectation. Finally:
ME: No, you fuck off.*
We glare at each other. Eventually he does fuck off.
LADY ON TILL: Ooh, don't worry about him love, he's mental.
ME: (sternly) Yes, well, that's no excuse.
* Like Jeff Goldblum.