ME: Hello, I'd like to travel from London to Cornwall by train on a Sunday please.
TICKET GUY: Well you could...
TG: But there's engineering works, so you'd have to take two different buses (as well).
TG: But monday's fine.
TG: The first train's quite expensive.
TG: But the second one's a lot cheaper.
TG: But it does have about four stops.
ME: SHIT! I'll take the earlier one then.
TG: Wait a minute-
ME: BRILLIANT I mean 'okay'.
He calls over second ticket guy. They look at the screen, and frown. STG looks over at me, and assesses my moral worth. I discreetly cast 'Mask Moral Worth' (a level two anti-paladin spell I picked up on holiday in Helsinki). I seem to get away with it.
TG2: Were you travelling first class?
ME: I wasn't going to.
TG2: Because if you go first class on that particular train, it's actually cheaper than going standard class.
TG2: Although really you just get free tea and coffee.
TG2: Although the lemony biscuits are quite nice.
ME: They are, aren't they? I always ask for those specifically now.
TG2: Well done on the bit in Variety, by the way.
ME: Ooh thanks, although some of that money goes to my script editor, and I have to hand it all back if I actually sell the script to a studio and I haven't had any of it yet anyway.
TG2: All right, don't go on.