Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I take Patroclus to see my nan.

NAN: (apropos of nothing) I remember when I was young, my boyfriend at the time drove us round Trafalgar Square in a Wolseley Hornet Special, while I leant out of the window with a soda siphon, squirting people.

I suddenly feel I should be making more of an effort in this relationship. Later I drive us to the village of Brill (there is a village called Brill in undead starting zone in Warcraft, but it is not that one), and we walk down to Constantine. Sadly there are no shops selling soda siphons. A scruffy, long-haired teenager walks past us and chirps 'Morning!' in a bright chirpy sort of voice.

I am appalled at the attitude of today's youth. My hopes are raised when I round the corner and my (mum's) car appears to have vanished, but it turns out I just parked it a bit closer in to the hedge than I remember.


UPDATE: patroclus and I met up with occasional poster of comments for pints of nice cornish beer, and on the way home someone drove past in a car and squirted us with water.

Hmm.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I love your nan.

Anonymous said...

oh you and your wild and crazy life!

james henry said...

It's dull, isn't it? I do apologise.

Anonymous said...

speaking of crazy things: are you going to the british film institute to talk about green wing?

Anonymous said...

You do have interesting place names in Cornwall, though, so at least you can live your boring life in a place called Brill.

james henry said...

I like to giggle every time I drive through Indian Queens.

Anonymous: I've been told I can sit on the panel and sigh noisily as everyone asks the actors how they made up all the episodes yes.

One good trick is to place a small bottle of water right next to the microphone and unscrew the top every time someone else is asked a question: the resultant grinding noises are excitingly out of proportion to the act itself, and satisfactorily reposition everyone's attention back on you.

Anonymous said...

at the BFI, can questions come from the audience or will everything be scripted? I'll be there, the waynetta slob look alike in row c.......

james henry said...

I think probably questions from the introducing bloke at first, then opened up to the audience afterwards...

Valerie said...

Well, at least you know you come from good stock..

Your nan sounds like she'd be right at home at one of my parties. Bring on the water pistols!

Anonymous said...

your nan sounds a hoot - what fab memories to have in your dotage! going back to the bfi thing, could we ask you questions? Would you like to suggest some?

To me, Caroline is such a wonderful and realistic character - she epitomises the lives of 35 plus women who are still single. Her relationships with the GW men are totally realistic - they all treat her badly and she rejects the one who was actually nice to her, namely Jake. The women are not much better.
was Caroline an accident? how did such a young bunch of writers know about her?
would that be a good question, or would everyone have lost the will to live by then?

I'm the 5.44 anonymous, by the way, not the first one.

I'll be sucking boiled sweets and smelling of kiddies dinner because I won't have time to change before coming out.

Anonymous said...

:O you are coming to the BFI thing yayness! who else is coming to that - Don't worry me and "team secretan" will make sure a question is targeted at you :) we are in 33-35 row K :) and is there going to be a special signing soon and will you be there??

BTW your nan souds a lot cooler then my nan ever was

Ros x

Imo said...

I nearly lost my car in Tesco's carpark a few days ago. I'd reached the 'oh sh*t I can't remember the reg number when I have to phone the police' stage when luckily I found it. Blasted thing had been hiding.

Your nan sounds great, it always put life in perspective when you realise that old people used to actually live their lives as well.

Jayne said...

I might have to fight Loganoc for your nan I'm afraid. Tell her I can drive her round Trafalgar Square in a purple mini and will give her TWO soda siphons...

Anonymous said...

Can I just be very boring and mention 'The Wing'?

I am very worried for my tear ducts; I have happened upon a few spoilerettes (BY ACCIDENT!!)... if it happens: I'll set my cats upon Cornwall.

And GOD HELP YOU THEN, Henry of James!

Button said...

jen- good god! What? No, don't tell me. It's bad news isn't it?
*stands in front of Guy-Secretan-Love Shrine brandishing table leg*
*twitches*

Anonymous said...

you know, I actually have the special now and am TERRIFIED to watch it.

honestly, what have i ever done to deserve this?

james henry said...

OH GOD DON'T WATCH IT, YOU'LL BE REALLY UPSET!

I'm closing this blog down Friday morning. That'll be it, game over.

Lozalang said...

A little random, and I'm quote sure you know, but the story about your friend's band is about to be covered on channel four news. I just looked up and there was the video, dancing away!

james henry said...

I didn't know that, ta!

surly girl said...

*composes comment*

*reads it back, thinks better of it*

um, my nan was horrible? yours sounds ace.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say what lozalang said but then I read the comment re GW and now I feel all shaky *goes for a lie down*

Maud said...

Hello, it's been a while.

I had a similar car situation the other day. We all got very excited when my friend's car got stolen, until it turned out that it had been towed instead.

On the other hand, at least he gets to keep his "I <3 my penis" air freshener, which is what we assumed the thieves had gone for.