I like Cornershop Man, who runs his business with an oddly detached amusement, as though he stepped in one day on his way to an art installation, found the real owner dead, and decided to run the shop himself, as a kind of absurdist prank.
CSM: Buying a pack of instant noodles, I see.
CSM: Ah, noodles. The old 'noodle'.
Long pause while I try and think of a response. Eventually I nod, and CSM brightens up.
CSM: The meal that's ready in but a moment.
CSM: Just add hot water.
CSM: And a carrot.
Another long pause.
CSM: Well goodbye then.
I had them with small fried cubes of chorizo in the end. And spring onions. With a egg dropped in. 'Carrot' indeed, the man's a lunatic.