Friday, November 25, 2005

Living proof there is such a thing as 'too much spare time'

Oh who am I kidding. These are the coolest things I've ever seen. I'd like the Starscream one for Christmas please.

This would make a fantastic comedy sketch though - someone turning up to a party, transforming into a car or plane.... and then pretty much having to lie there, people gradually putting empty glasses on you and covering you in coats. I suppose you could shout 'Neowm!' every now and then. It's always good to have an excuse.

UPDATE: ipod = dead. Or rather it spineth and it whirrs, but the hard disc it be fecked, giving it a ghastly semblance of half-life. A full restorative will cost approx. £180. It may have to roam the earth whispering 'braaaaiiiinnnnnnns' for an indefinite period.

Have moved on to the final stage of ipod death: a calm acceptance of fate.

And the desire to SMASH STEVE JOBS' BEARDY FACE IN.



And I abhor male aggression, holding it responsible for 98% of the world's ills. Also, I currently have quite a beardy face. See the rank hypocrisy to which I have been brought?

It's not the battery either, though thanks for the suggestion. It's the hard disc: the dark and hate-filled soul of the beast. Its very spinning vexeth me so, like a spinny, vex-making machine.



UPDATE 2: For new readers, here's some backstory, aka 'the earlier, funnier ones'.

the sigur ros thing

Sexydancing

The bullet-point memo version of 'Life of Make-Believe

Stuart Murphy quit, by the way.


UPDATE 3: should I have referred to them as the 'earlier funnier ones'? Was that being a bit presumptuous? Damn, I'm not sure now. I've jumped the shark. Actually I did jump a shark once, a small one, being unloaded into a fish shop in town. Although it was a 'step' rather than a jump*, really. I wish I could go back in time and not do it. Or not do this, now. I'll stop.


* I think I actually jumped it here.

13 comments:

occasional poster of comments said...

...????? Just when you think you've seen everything.

I'm torn between utter bafflement and admiration.

And now further clicks reveal some hitherto unsuspected subculture of Transformer recreators/customisers? You've made my day, James. It's always a joy to stumble upon a new level of human strangeness.

james henry said...

Don' t know about you, but every time I look at the internet these days, I feel just a little bit more normal.

Anonymous said...

If you don't have one already, or if you know someone who has one...the majority of ipod faults are battery related (I know this because I was an ipod in my previous life) and try whacking it in someone's dock and hey presto, you have a coma ridden responsive non portable ipod player that'll whirr and play away but won't be portable. Guhh!

patroclus said...

Make sure you get the first punch in before he has time to utter the consumer electronics industry's favourite three words: built-in obsolescence.

Matt said...

are you sure it is actually dead, and that you aren't really just trying to justify buying a video ipod...

james henry said...

I see where you're going with that, but the video-pod thing A) looks a bit rubbish, as the battery on the thing would go by the time I got to Plymouth and B) would cause my bank manager to have a fit. Or, more realistically, dance about the office with another name added to his List of Souls Owned.

Word ver: inazwolb - one who has no money due to working on spec for four months, then buys a steam-powered gorilla. A plum, or 'moron'.

irony in motion said...

Are you aware that you are blog of the week in The Times telly pages?

irony in motion said...

Also: iPod commiserations.

james henry said...

Ooh look, there I am. Apparently Rupert Murdoch writes those recommendations himself, you know. So on behalf of team bluecat: a hearty welcome to all squinting billionaire tyrants everywhere!

Here's a tip: that 'China' might be worth having a look at, investment-wise. I'll say no more.

felinity said...

Doesn't jumping the shark refer to doing something really desperate and over the top, almost farcical, from which there is no return?

Actually, I'll just stop now..

(I've never seen that episode of Happy Days, more's the pity.)

cello said...

Thanks for reminding us of some past glories (though an infinite number yet to come). But you've also reminded me that there will soon be a completely fresh BBC3 Controller for you to whack in the face. And I've heard whispers that Stuart's demise was partly because he didn't insist on acquiring the entire GW writing team for Man Stroke Woman. They won't make that mistake again.

Who is this Dave? said...

Didn't get to read the Times until after I'd shut the computer down for the day, and couldn't be bothered to relight the boiler, to get the necessary head of steam to turn over the turbine, just to congratulate you.

No doubt you've had simply thousands of new visitors as a result.

Merkin said...

Everyone's a media blog whore these days! Patroclus and Willie Lupin in the Guardian last month, you in the Times today. I'm aiming for being in the top half of the Basingstoke Shopper "Top 50 blogs of the Month" in March 2008....