In the last 48 hours:
My internet connection collapsed,
My ipod wiped itself (again),
My mobile phone went into a coma.
After scouring the streets fruitlessly for one of those EMP bombs like on Ocean's Eleven, I was forced to conclude that this was all a coincidence, and not a concerted effort to cut me off from potential sources of employment by the forces of evil. But you have to wonder. Anyway, Matt phoned, and persuaded me to put away the tinfoil hat for the present.
Fortunately my laptop is still working (please stay working laptop), so I thought I might try one of the wi-fi places in town. Which lead to this fabulous conversation in an unnamed bar.
ME: Do you have a wireless broadband thing here?
GIRL: Yeah, but it's shit.
ME: Is is just shit today, or is it always shit?
GIRL: It's always shit.
ME: Right, thanks. Do you know anywhere else in town that has one?
GIRL: That cinnamon cafe place does. You know up the top of town, where it all goes a bit comedy?
ME: Um, yes?
GIRL: Well it's up there.
ME: Ok, ta.
Didn't get to try the cinnamon cafe, although I did pop back to first bar later in the evening, and their wireless broadband thing was, as I'd been warned, shit.
But what does 'it all goes a bit comedy' mean? Weirdly, I sort of know what she meant: lots of health food shops, strange antique shops with sinister dolls and second-hand bookshops specializing in books about the Canadian Navy. But is this the new definition of 'comedy'? Confused.
I need to blunder through the apple website now to see if I can get the ipod to work again. But my heart's not in it frankly. I might just leave its alabaster corpse lying on my bedside table to gather dust, a symbol of all that is glamorous and beautiful, but ultimately flawed, vicious and treacherous in this world.
BLUE CAT LAMENT (Trad.)
Oh ipod, mypod, deadpod
How could you treat me so?
I loved you once.
But now the spinning hard disc of my heart
And no combination of buttons
Can reset the love I once had for you.
You small white bastard.